


The Bonds We Make

by BluebutActuallyGrey



Category: Mass Effect (Comics), Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Lots of OC's, M/M, Minor Character Death, More to be added per request, Not Canon Compliant, Other, POV Original Character, and per progression, begins prior to games, but close enough, not Shepard focused, not entirely canon, some minor fixes, you'll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2019-10-10 13:18:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 40,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17426627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BluebutActuallyGrey/pseuds/BluebutActuallyGrey
Summary: Can one person really make a difference? A story of something that could have been, had Cerberus been a little more proactive in their hatred.





	1. Rude Awakening

**Author's Note:**

> All the credit to MizDirected for the use of her Turian Cultural Info and Dictionary! Also, Angelwingsl3 (Marie_Fanwriter) and Kuraiummei were huge inspirations along with MizDirected. Other thanks at the End Notes for you to either read or skip at your pleasure. As a minor note, this fic begins in the year 2178, a few months before the Alliance retaliate for the Skyllian Blitz.
> 
> GLOSSARY:
> 
> Tarin -- Tarini plural. Female turian of the age of majority (15)

The sound of chattering teeth that woke her, and it took her precious minutes to realize they were hers. She didn’t understand why she would be so cold, feeling the weight of something laying over most of her body. She shuddered hard, curling tighter and trying desperately to get warm even as she gasped for breath.

 

_ “Get up.” _

 

She knew that voice, but it couldn’t be here. She didn’t know why it couldn’t be in here, but she did. She raised her eyes, teeth chattering as colors swirled around her giving only vague impressions on the room around her. Something, or was it someone?, was bent over her in the dark space, nothing more than a blob that was somehow different than the things around it.

 

_ “You need to get out.” _

 

Out? Where was out? She squinted at the blob, groaning as a foul taste entered her mouth and made her throat tighten. Closing her eyes helped, but only so much. Maybe if she moved the thing would go away and leave her alone. It was strange though, how familiar it was even if she couldn’t recognize it at the moment. She managed to find the edge of the thing she was laying on despite her shaking, feeling the void that was the ground before sliding into it.

 

Oh, that had not been a good idea. The taste was stronger now, and she choked as she fought to breathe through her shaking. Her legs were tangled in what had been covering her and her side was pressed to the freezing surface of the floor.

 

_ “Get out.” _

 

It wasn’t enough that she had managed to find her way to the floor, now it wanted her to get out? How was she supposed to do that? What was out anyway? Couldn’t she just get under the warm thing again, and sleep away this chill?

 

_ “You must get out. You promised, remember?” _

 

No. No, she did not remember promising anything. She looked at the blob again and noticed that it had changed. It was still looming over her, but it was also closer to her. She watched a part of the blob separate and go into the wall only to move away from her. She tried to push herself up but her body was trembling too much. It couldn’t hold her or do what the voice told her to do.

 

_ “You can do this Tas. You just need to get out.” _

 

Tas. Was she Tas? It sounded off, but it also sounded right. Despite her confusion, she felt her mouth move, struggling to do what it needed. “Mmmaaazzzz.” That didn’t sound right, but a giggle sounded in her head as she tried again. She managed to find balance on her forearms, weakly kicking her tangled legs and trying to move to the wall the thing had touched. By the time she had kicked free, her chest ached as she fought to breathe through the occasional spasming of her throat. And she still had so far to go, and she just wanted to sleep.

 

_ “Stay awake Tas.” _

 

A whimper escaped her throat, the distance between her and the wall nothing but a chasm waiting to swallow her. She couldn’t do this, but It said she’d made a promise hadn’t it? She didn’t think she would break a promise. She didn’t want to break a promise, imagined or not. So she kicked and crawled her way forward, each minuscule movement making everything swim in a kaleidoscope of color. By the time she felt the wall she felt sick and her body was going numb. She leaned against the wall, watching the world spin as her throat struggled to stay open. She shook as she forced herself higher, resting her shoulder and head against it and nearly falling as it shifted.

 

_ “Almost there Tas! Just a little more, okay? You always were the strongest of us.” _

 

There was laughter and pride in the voice now, and she watched as the thing leaned closer reaching for her as if it could touch her. She was almost done, the thing had told her so. Just a little more, and then she could go back to sleep. She forced her shaking body up further on uncoordinated limbs, pressing against the wall that was moving away from her. She could hear more voices now, but they sounded strange. Their words buzzed in her ears, but the other voice didn’t.

 

_ “You’ve got it Tas. Come toward me, okay? You need to make it come toward me.” _

 

Huh. The blob had moved away from her, and now it wanted the wall? If that would make it so she could rest, she’d do it. Then she would have kept her promise. The other voices were a little louder now, sharper almost, but she couldn’t hear them as well as she could the blobs. The wall must be keeping her from more than sleep. She pitched forward, fighting to make the wall follow her movement. She pressed against it more, striving to make it move. And then it did. There was a sliver of light that made her flinch, and it only grew the further the door moved.

 

“--see that?”

 

“Get the ----. ---- more insi---.”

 

_ “Come on Tas! One more! I know you’re exhausted, but you need to try one more time!” _

 

One more. She could do that, or so she thought. She struggled to push herself up higher again, her arms shaking horribly and unwilling to bear the weight she needed to put on them. The wall was moving with her, but that was ok. It was when she was closer to the bit of light that she let herself fall, making the wall hold her weight. Her vision swam, but she forced herself forward, the wall moving sluggishly with her before it was ripped away from her.

 

She fell into the open space where the wall had been, her body twisting from the unexpected motion and the back of her head colliding with the ground. There were even bigger blobs now, but they had colors that danced together. The giants were surrounded by gold, though they themselves had none of it. They were pointing things at her, though the black and red one quickly put it’s away to kneel by her head. She saw him reach for her, struggling to focus on the thing dancing in front of her eyes.

 

Oh, that was a bad idea. The sight of so many things moving made her shaking body lurch and warm liquid flooded her mouth and choked her. Black and red hands wrapped around her arms, and the white and green thing moved away as she coughed the liquid out of her throat, only for more to replace it.

 

“Get -- dic now! Foun -- ive!” She couldn’t understand much of the things being said as she expelled the liquid choking her, the white and green giant moving around the growing pool and helping its pair tug at something on her head. Her hair maybe? She was shifted, something firm pressing into her back and moving slowly in circles until the liquid stopped coming up. One of the giants moved away from her, the other moving her slowly away from the pool. The missing giant came back with the thing that had tangled her legs earlier and wrapped it around her, but it didn’t feel warm anymore.

 

“Med-- --ming. Stay awa--.” The white one touched her cheek with something soft, carefully wiping away the liquid on her face. Did it want her to stay awake? But she’d done everything the first one had said! Why wasn’t it enough?

 

A third one entered her vision, but it was different than the other two. Shorter, and not as large as the other things, though it came into focus as it knelt before her. The boy was smiling sadly, but looking proud too.  _ “You did it Tas. You held on, and they’re going to help you. Remember the promise, okay?” _

 

She tried reaching for the boy, but she couldn’t touch him and a buzzing was drowning out the words of the giants. “Mmmaaazzzz.” Why was he shaking his head? She didn’t understand what was going on, and he was the only one that could tell her. The only one she could hear. 

 

Something heavy pounded in her skull, the buzzing getting louder and more urgent. Dots of black peppered her vision, but she only cared about the boy in front of her. “Maaazzz.” 

 

She was being moved again, pulled away from the boy as the white giant waved in front of her face. A fourth giant, this time in red, put himself in front of her and flashed something in her eyes. The light only made the dots larger, and she couldn’t fight anymore. She’d done too much, but even then, she called for the boy in a desperate whisper as black consumed her. “ _ Max _ ....”

 

-

 

The second time she woke, she couldn’t breathe and a painted face was hovering over her own. She moaned in distress, writhing and attempting to get away from the face over her. Other hands held her body still, a second face joining the first as talons cupped her jaw to hold her head in place. 

 

The tube in her throat moved, something cold and metallic pressing hard on her tongue as she gagged around them. The talons holding her jaw stroked her cheeks, and she had no doubt she would be hearing them giving orders if her ears weren’t ringing. She felt tears crawl down her face and into her hair, the tube carefully making its way down her throat and pausing with each reflexive gag.

 

By the time it was over, black spots were dancing in her eyes and the previous ringing had turned into a screaming cacophony. She didn’t have the energy to try and rip the thing out anymore, the lack of air making her head spin and darkness beckon as they taped the tube to her face. The soft leather at the base of the talons rubbed at the tracks the tears left on her skin, patting her in a way that should be condescending.

 

And then the tube filled her screaming lungs with much-needed air. It took her a long while to figure out how to let the thing breathe for her, the black bleeding from her eyes and the screaming in her ears nothing more than a dull roar. The talons that had held her head still never left, stroking through her hair as she figured things out. When she turned her head to get a better look at them, she couldn’t help but frown when she saw black armor littered with red strips of light. She glanced at his face again, not at all surprised to see him studying her in turn.

 

“Can you understand me now?” His voice was as controlled as the mandibles at his jaw, not even the subtle roll of subvocals giving away more than he wished. “Just blink once for yes, twice for no and thrice for maybe. No need to piss off the medic in charge of getting you back together.”

 

She continued to stare at him, meeting his emerald gaze with her own. After a moment, she let the lids of her eyes close, opening them to continue their little staring contest. 

 

“Good. I’m going to keep this short and to the point then and wait until you’re cleared to get to the real answers I want.” The talons left her hair as he straightened, flicking his hand as though touching her was beneath him. “Do you remember anything before waking up here?”

 

She sank into the pillow behind her, trying to think back to what she could remember. She could remember Max calling to her and feeling like she was moving through ice water, but it was hazy. The only things she really recalled being black and red armor, white and green armor and Max. When she met his eyes again, she gave an uncertain blink that was followed by three more. She wasn’t sure if it had been a dream, or if it had been real after all. Lying would do her no good here.

 

“Is there any reason that you can think of that might warrant a response from the Council? Something about where you were stationed?”

 

This time she didn’t even wait until he was finished before blinking. Yes, there was a very damn good reason for them to come poking around, thank you very much.

 

“Do you know how many bases like yours exist?”

 

This time she blinked twice. While she could make guesses on some things, she had no idea where to begin looking, or just how many there might be.

 

She jumped slightly as a third voice cut off another one of his questions, her eyes casting for the source before finding a Turian in a white and red tunic walking over from the other side of the room. “Spectre, as much as I appreciate your help holding her head as I inserted the tube, I must insist you stop questioning her. The human was given lethal amounts of what we believe to be anesthetic, and other chemicals we are having trouble identifying. We need to completely flush her system to ensure she remains stable.”

 

Her eyes shot back to the black armored male, looking him over once again. They’d gotten the message to the right people, or so it seemed. She couldn’t have been more relieved if she wanted to be. Her eyes closed, the remaining tension in her body melting away. After a moment, she ignored the medic and gestured toward the Spectre’s taloned hand before making a general grabbing motion. He gave her an odd look and gingerly set his hand in hers, ready to pull away at a moments notice. She rolled her eyes at him, holding the hand in her left while the right traced trembling lines over the leathery hide. When she stopped, she was amused to see him stiff and staring down at her again. She would have chuckled if she could have, but instead sunk into the bed to give the Turian she guessed was the medic in charge of her care her attention. She barely noticed when the Spectre left, more interested in listening to medic explain what was going to happen and why they couldn’t do anything to help her deal with the pain. She was nodding off toward the middle of his explanation, the feeling of leathery hide making her fingers tingle in memory of the message she’d written in a language she had no right be aware of.

 

_ ‘Thank you, Spectre. You’ll have your answers soon.’ _

 

-

 

The third time she woke up, the room was quiet and the lights had been dimmed. She felt far more aware than she had the last time, her head clear of the ringing and fog she’d been dealing with then. She was under a thick layer of blankets, an IV in one arm and a tube down her throat. She closed her eyes, listening to the machines for a breath before tuning them out. She could hear a low purr from somewhere close by, and the whisper of moving fabric.

 

So, she wasn’t just left on her own. They had at least two people that were supposed to be watching her, though it seemed that one had fallen asleep. The moving fabric suggested a second was wandering and trying to stay quiet. It was that one that she focused on, trying to hear the tap of talons as they walked. It seemed that whoever it was walked light, the noise of their movement not enough for most to hear.

 

She opened her eyes again as the person came closer, not recognizing them from what she could recall of before. Olive plating over mahogany hide with teal paint framing their mandibles and flaring over their crest. Female, or at least feminine from the lack of fringe and slighter figure. She lifted a hand in greeting, earning a slight head tilt of acknowledgement as the Turian tended to the machines.

 

After a few moments of tinkering the Turian looked down at her, distaste only barely hidden by the annoyed growl underlying their words. “Since you’re awake and seem aware enough, I am going to remove the breathing tube. If you are having any trouble, let me know, but we’ve been weaning you for the past several hours, so you should be fine.”

 

Yup, definitely a female and a very annoyed one at that. Still, they weren’t trying to kill her and make it look like an accident. If that was because the Spectre needed answers from her or not remained unanswered for now. The  _ tarin _ had stopped messing with the machine and was peeling away the tape at her face. Within a handful of heartbeats she was coughing as the tube was removed, and breathing on her own. When she regained her breath she sat up slowly, rubbing at the adhesive still on her face. Her voice was rough, and it hurt to talk, but she did it anyway. There were things she needed to know. “So, what was the damage? Drugging us wasn’t out of the norm, and I know you all had to flush whatever they did out of me.”

 

The Turian didn't bother to hide her annoyed growl from her second larynx, though her main voice remained clipped and mostly professional. “We found samples of an unidentified drug in your system, as well as a potentially lethal dose of anesthesia in your system. There was a puncture mark on your left elbow, where we suspect the anesthesia was administered. You were delirious, and suffering Hypothermia when you were brought in by Spectres Kryik and Rix. You woke when we were inserting the breathing tube, and had to be held down until we got it in place.” 

 

The  _ tarin _ paused, her eyes caught on something on the monitors she was reading from. It only lasted for a second, but it was obvious something wasn’t right. “You flatlined twice as we tried to flush your body of chemicals and get it to a proper temperature, and in between, you went into a severe seizure. You’ve been unconscious for three days, and we are running out of Levo safe medications. We tested your reactions to Dextro by drawing blood and testing your skin, and while you showed no reaction, we did not wish to risk it unless forced.”

 

“There wouldn’t have been a reaction, and never will be, but before I explain that, can I bother you for a glass of water? My throat feels like the Sahara decided to make camp.” She couldn’t help her chuckle or the coughing fit that followed it. She was trying not to think about the fact that she’d almost died twice, and apparently only lived because she had answers the Spectre’s needed. Well, confirmed at the very least. Why two Spectre’s had been sent instead of one, let alone there being others that weren’t Spectre's, was not what they’d expected. Then again, they’d been cut off from the outside world for the two and a half years they’d been stuck in the facility.

 

She took the water and smiled in thanks, sipping cautiously. There were areas of her throat that burned as she drank, but she figured that would go away in time. “I’m not sure about the exact year, but there was a study in the 1990s or very early 2000s that showed that the plants that were naturally Dextro-amino were dying out due to genetic modifications. This was discovered due to an increase of allergic reactions, and a sudden boom in the sales of Epipens. Blood samples were taken from volunteers, and it showed that a minority of the human race still carried the gene to be able to safely digest the Dextro products. By the time the Relay Incident happened, the Dextro plants had been wiped out completely, and the number of people carrying the gene no longer warranted a percentage of the population. Genetic research was being done to see if there was a way to keep this gene, but to my knowledge, no progress has been made.”

 

“That is impossible! We would have known if there were humans capable of handling Dextro! The Council would have demanded the information!” The Turian was almost snarling, talons hovering over the console she’d been inputting the information into.

 

“And we are dying out. By this time next century, unless there is a breakthrough, those that carry the gene will no longer exist. I have no doubt it was disclosed but dismissed as unimportant. I was only one of three in my family that still carried it. In the early 2000s, nearly all of my family carried it. It would only skip one, maybe two, a generation. That, and because of its rarity, it’s been blamed for a lot of medical conditions that have cropped up through the years that were previously blamed on things like Agent Orange, Eezo exposure and the like.” She shrugged, setting the glass in her lap and staring at it. Just discovering she had the gene had nearly caused a split in the family, not that she’d known it then. “If there’s no name on my record, would you mind putting it in as Tasia?”

 

“Even so, the fact that it’s something we could test for should be known!” The  _ tarins _ mandibles were flaring and flicking as wildly as her second voice. It was clear that she disliked having, what she thought to be, critical information held back. Even if it wouldn’t be something to even think about anymore in a few years. She seemed to try and pull herself together, though her voices trembled dangerously. “Your name is entered already. I’ll put it in there somewhere for the Spectre’s to see later.”

 

“No doubt they somehow know I’m awake already. I take it that Spectre Kryik is the one in black and red, and his partner Rix is the white and green? At least, I hope so. I know you said I was delirious, but I remember seeing blobs of color and shadows. Then there was me waking up with the tube and having the other Doctor call him a Spectre.” Tasia shrugged, somewhat disappointed that the Turian hadn’t offered a name. She’d always felt it disrespectful to refer to someone by just their title. Too easy to get people and things confused. She didn’t move when she heard the hiss of the door, focusing on the doctor to not give away the fact that she’d heard it.

 

“That would be correct. I’m surprised you remember.”

 

Tasia squeaked and nearly spilled what remained of her water in her lap, seeking to keep the pretense of not noticing the Spectre enter. “Bells! I am putting bells on your spurs! Praise be, you almost gave me a heart attack.” Tasia rubbed at her chest, glaring at the Spectre without heat.

 

“Then it is a good thing you are in the medical bay.” The only hint of humor was a slight flutter of his mandibles and a dull rumble from his second voice. “Nothing you heard will leave this room, Variso. Am I understood?”

 

“Of course Spectre. I must insist that you keep things brief for the time being. Her body needs time to recover from what it has gone through, despite being unconscious for three days. She should be fully recovered in a minimum of three weeks, if she follows instructions.”

 

“While my heart stopping twice is new, being drugged to hell and still going through daily exercises is something I’m used to. You have me connected to wires and I fully intend to be transparent with Spectre's Kryik and Rix, so there is no reason he cannot question me now if he wishes.” Tasia finished the last of her water, curling her legs for better balance. She honestly was glad the Spectre was here. She was going to ask after him if he hadn’t been.

 

The medic shook her head but let the point drop as she moved away. “Fine, but if your body starts telling you to sleep, do it. With everything it’s been put through, we don’t need to add to it.”

 

“Of course. Thank you for telling me everything earlier.”

 

The Spectre leaned against the bed opposite her, not paying the least bit of attention to Variso as she left. Once the door was closed he opened his Omni Tool, the lock turning red. “You said you were planning on transparency, but you’ll forgive me if I do not believe that.”

 

Tasia snorted, chuckling and offering a slight smirk to the Spectre. “You’re a Spectre, so I know you won’t believe it. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve got a little bug in the medical monitors to keep a record of your own. That’s not talking about your heightened senses that can likely hear my heart beating, as well as your ability to smell my pheromones. If anything, I’m the one at a disadvantage, though not one as large as you think.” 

 

Tasia lifted a hand, asking for patience as she straightened on her bed. “My hearing has been augmented to the point that I can hear the full range of your second voice. I knew when you came in because I heard the door open. I’m also multilingual, as you no doubt deduced from my writing on your hand the last time I was awake. You are not, however, knowledgeable to the extent that it goes. I understand spoken and written Batarian and Asari, as well as multiple languages from Earth. I can read and write in your own language, both High Tier and Trade Common, and was in the process of deciphering Salarian. Normally, the number of languages I could learn would be limited, but a section of the grey box your doctors have no doubt warned you about is dedicated to language. If you and your partner try to talk without me knowing through your secondary larynx, I may be able to start deciphering it as well.” 

 

Now came the hard part. If he hadn’t been considering killing her after getting his answers, he certainly was going to now. “I willingly signed up for this program because it was misrepresented by a Systems Alliance recruiter that stated his rank to be a Sergeant First Class. Project Talon was supposed to be a program where interested young people could join, biotic or not, and learn to work with the Turians to hopefully assist in creating a stronger alliance. Instead, we were used as lab rats, isolated, and trained to kill Turians as quickly and efficiently as possible. I and others in the project managed to get a message out, which lead to you and Spectre Rix coming here.” Her breath hitched and her fingers tightened on the glass on her lap. She forced herself to meet his emerald gaze, not at all surprised to see the steel there. “For these reasons, I have to believe that what was done to all of us in that facility was sanctioned by the Systems Alliance. I have to believe the rumors that there are others like it for each race represented on the Citadel. Because of this, I seek asylum with the Turian Hierarchy because I fear returning to the System Alliance will lead to my own death, or my being used as an unwilling agent against the Hierarchy.”


	2. The Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finding out you're all alone can make even the toughest break.
> 
> Again, thank you MizDirected for the use of your Turian Cultural Info and Dictionary!
> 
> Fahrtrix -- Supporter, mentor, advisor, adopted parent.  
> Inluvis -- The second gestational period in turian pregnancy. Between 8 and 16 weeks. Slang: Little one, in the sense of being young and underdeveloped.  
> Tarin -- Tarini plural. Female turian of the age of majority (15)  
> Torin -- Torini plural. Male turian of the age of majority (15)  
> Spirasitus -- The primitive, base spirit or the most primal part of an individual. The seat of instincts and reflexes, drives and desires.  
> Necon -- No, don’t.  
> Necor elinus min -- Don’t leave me  
> Obluvis -- plural Obluvi. One who is senile or absent-minded. Slang: Idiot

It took all Tasia had to maintain eye contact with the Spectre, knowing that he held her life in his talons. The fact that she’d volunteered for this was damning, even when the fact that she’d been misinformed was taken into account. If the Spectre didn’t harbor distaste for humans because of the First Contact War he would now.

 

Her breath caught when he shifted, arms crossing and expression cold. “You have done nothing but given me more reason to kill you. My  _ fahrtrix _ would insist that I get my answers from you and do just that." His mandibles rotated slowly, exposing normally hidden teeth. A glimpse at the predator his people had been, and still were. "The Hierarchy does not grant Asylum, though the Council could, and yet you ask for the Hierarchy specifically. Why?"

 

Tasia tilted her head back just enough to expose more of her throat while still keeping eye contact. She didn't know why, but it felt right to do so. "And if you do follow your mentors' teachings, I would not fault you for it. You not only must protect your people but the galaxy as a whole. I cannot go before the Council, because I would only be handed to the Embassy."

 

She shrugged, finally breaking eye contact as she chewed on her lip. A nervous habit that none had been able to break her of. "The Asari I have never liked. Something is off about them, crying peace and yet demeaning to others, and only willing to listen to themselves. They believe themselves higher than others simply because they are longer lived. A 'We know better than you kids, now settle and let the adults talk things over' aura or Spirit I guess you could say."

 

She gestured at the empty beds around her, eyes narrowed and voice quickly becoming hoarse. "The Salarians would be worse. I'd end up an experiment once again in their hands. A riddle to be solved and then cast aside when they decide they've discovered all they can from me. Granted, they may be the best equipped to actually find and use the gene I carry in a way to help others. On the other side of the coin, they could keep the advancements they make to themselves and potentially even corrupt it. Use it as a weapon in some way."

 

She shook her head, taking a moment to sip her water and gather her thoughts. "Then there are the Turian people. Some would call you simplistic, and yet you're anything but."

 

Tasia let her head waver from side to side, unsure how to word what she wanted to say. "I'm honestly not sure I can really put my thoughts on your people into words. It's never something I've tried to do because words are the last thing I really associate you with. It's more a gut feeling. A sixth sense reaction." Tasia groaned in frustration, scrubbing her face with her free hand. "This in itself is going to take hours to explain, and it's not going to translate well. You'll end up thinking me crazy and shoot me just to make sure I can't corrupt the gene pool any further."

 

The Spectre hummed, mandibles flicking slightly in amusement. "Just try to put it into words the best you can. I still have many things I need to ask you, so you're safe from me shutting you up with lead. For this part at least." He pushed away from the bed, moving to a low backed chair that he pulled closer before seating himself. "All I ask is that you try. You have no idea what I've seen and heard, so perhaps what you say won't be as crazy as you think."

 

"If you say so." Tasia pulled her lip between her teeth again, wavering and trying to form words for something she couldn't explain. "Sometimes I get feelings about random things. Sometimes it's just a little nudge to pay attention, or feeling uncomfortable for no reason. Then there are the times where it's so invasive it's made me sick from panic until I've done whatever it wanted me to do. It's even invaded my dreams, but that's only happened twice so far. A glimpse here, feelings of having done something before."

 

She couldn't look at him for this. She didn't want to see the disbelief in his eyes. The smile of one pacifying someone they thought was mad, but too kind to say it to their face. "I knew they were wrong about Turian's the moment they opened their mouths. They called you monsters and beasts that would rather shoot first, ask questions never. They were wrong. Yes, you're willing to do whatever is needed to defend yourselves and you can be terrifying, but you're so much more than that. The first time I saw a picture of a Turian, I wasn't fearful, I felt safe. I knew without a doubt that if I ever needed help, that I was ever in danger, I wouldn't be looking for a cop, I'd be looking for a Turian. The more I studied your people, the more I felt at peace. The stronger I felt, I don't know, beckoned? I guess that's the word for it." She laughed bitterly, shaking her head at the sheer lunacy of her own words. "My family called it my Juju sense."

 

Tasia set her glass aside, pulling her knees to her chest and hiding her face against them. It was stupid of her to even admit this to a Turian, especially this one. He'd use the information to get what he needed and then be done with her. It was his duty to do so after all. She flinched when she heard him shift, almost crushing her face to her knees. Her breath caught at the sound of a reassuring rumble coming from him, but she didn't move.

 

"You're in tune with your  _ spirasitus _ , your primal self and the seat of your Spirit. It's hard to explain in a way that will translate well, but to be in tune like you are is rare." He shifted again, a calculating hum emanating from his chest. "Your  _ spirasitus _ said nothing when you signed up with this project?"

 

Tasia shrugged, her voice brittle and muffled. "It did. It urged caution, but I ignored it because it was only a tickle. They were granting me an opportunity to chase a dream that I should have known was too good to be true. I should have listened to it, but if I had, would you have been able to stop it? Would we have been able to get the message out?"

 

"Life does not go on if you think of what could have been. You've said that it has made you sick for not listening to it when it was needed most. That it did not do so this time, and merely cautioned you, could mean that you were meant to be here. It was only seeking to temper your enthusiasm if I were to guess."

 

"Didn't work, now did it? I still fell into a trap that wasted nearly three years of my life. Only a few months more and the contract I had signed would have been over, not that they would let me leave now that I know what they're really after. Wouldn't be surprised if they planned to turn us into sleepers when they were finished." Tasia snorted, rolling her eyes despite the fact that he couldn't see it. "Actually, that probably was the plan, but not before they got to test us. Rumor was going around that they planned for live tests to see just how much we retained from our 'lessons'."

 

The Spectre cleared his throat, finally pulling her eyes from her knees. He looked confused and almost uncomfortable if she tried to put a name to the look in his eyes. "What?"

 

He cleared his throat again, glancing at his Omni-tool with his mandibles flicking. Now he was the one that wouldn't look at her. "What year do you think it is?"

 

Tasia tilted her head, puzzled by the question he had asked. "It's gotta be close to '76, isn't it? We weren't allowed calendars or access to the ExtraNet, but a few of us were decent at keeping track of the time. I was turning twenty one and that was supposed to be the end of my time here."

 

The Spectre shook his head, talons combing through his fringe before sighing. “It's not 2176, it's 2178. Only a few weeks into it, granted, but still two years more than you expected. You've all been here for as little as four years, but no more than six. The Project stopped taking recruits the year following you being brought here. Yours was the largest group brought in, and also had the most biotics." He shook his head, his face closing off again. "Rix and I have both read through the reports on the terminals here. You said you were used to working despite being drugged, what you didn't know is that they'd keep you in a coma for months to test implants, biotic amps... anything they could test on you, they did."

 

He took a breath, mandibles tight to his jaw and resting his forearms on his knees. "There are amps at the base of your spine and neck, and they were planning to add them to your feet and hands. Their notes on your specific performance with biotics are like nothing we have seen before in your species. The explanations you gave to the scientists make no sense, and yet you make it work. You and two others were to be implanted with a control chip before being sent out into the Alliance Military. I won't lie, a lot has happened that you are unaware of, but for now, we need to focus on what's been happening here."

 

"Of course Spectre Kryik. Ask away." Five years. She'd been here for five years. She'd replied to him, but wasn't truly hearing him. Five years. It explained so much that they hadn't understood at the time. Scars they couldn't recall getting, the unexplainable aches and pain. Maybe that's why they'd been forced to function while drugged?

 

"How many helped get the message out?"

 

Tasia blinked, trying to force herself away from the thought of being here for five years. "Six. Myself, Max, Viviann, Korra, Gomez, and Lamir. Max and Lamir were tech experts, Vivi coding, I was the linguist, Korra snuck us the tech and Gomez the ear to the ground. We passed the tech between us, Gomez always knew when inspections were coming, Korra found hiding spots. All I did was write the warning in High Tier and Trade. I have steady hands and attention to detail, so I helped where I could."

 

"How did you get it out?"

 

"Max bugged a terminal somehow. I'm not aware of the specifics, but they told me it would piggyback off of messages the Scientists would report to higher-ups and spread. They somehow managed to use my knowledge of High Tier to create a trigger for the message, but there was something about the message only showing up with classification codes? I don't know. Korra and Vivi were the ones being trained in what these people knew about Hierarchy coding."

 

"Explain what you meant by 'live tests'."

 

"Gomez heard rumors of the Scientists planning to go to the Batarians and get Turians for us to fight. That was after we sent out the message, but to be sure it went out the first time, we attempted a second transmission. Korra... Korra was caught and managed to destroy the message. We never saw her again." Her fingers slid into her hair, tugging at her scalp as her nails dug in. They'd gotten Korra killed because they'd gotten desperate. So very desperate. No, not they. She'd been the one that had panicked. She'd killed Korra. Her blood was pounding in her ears, chest aching as she tugged her hair. "My fault. She's gone and it's my fault. I was the one that begged we try again. You hadn't come yet, and it'd been months. We needed you to come and they were going to make us kill them."

 

Talons wrapped around her fingers, trying to pry her hands from her hair. "Let go. Breathe for me, girl." Talons continued to gently tug at her hands, the low rumble coming from him clashing with the blood pounding in her ears. "It's not your fault. You did the right thing."

 

Her chest ached, breaths little more than short gasps of air. "Doesn't matter. My fault. It's all my fault." Tasia choked on a sob, lifting her head so she could see the Spectre. "They're all gone, aren't they? I'm the only one left. That's why I'm alone in here. Why you made them work so hard to keep me alive."

 

The Spectre finally pulled her hands free, trapping them between his own and squeezed gently. "Yes. Most passed in their sleep, and once we found you, we found others. Several died within moments of us getting to them, and one died during transport to the medical bay." His talons drew circles onto the backs of her hands, almost kneading at them. "When we found you, you were calling for Max and reaching out as if he was right in front of you."

 

Tasia dropped her head onto their joined hands and did nothing to stop the keening cry that escaped her. She'd killed them all. Every last one of them, dead because of her. Because she'd insisted that they had failed the first time, and needed to try again before it was too late. She fully expected the  _ torin _ to push her aside and bring the medics back, yet he didn't. 

 

The Spectre stepped closer, guiding her head to the armor covering his keel and let his second voice speak for him. His chest was filled with comforting purrs, his hands guiding hers to the area's of his armor she could cling to. He didn't hesitate when he tangled his talons in her hair, letting her mourn against him. He tightened his hold when the door hissed open behind him, the rumble of his chest never stopping even as he twisted his head toward the newcomer. "Let the medics in Rix. I've got her."

 

An annoyed chuff acknowledged him, but she disregarded it. She'd killed the only friends she'd had here. Why did she get to live, while they were gone? They were supposed to do this together. She shied away from the steps that hurried toward her, tightening her grip on the ceramic armor under her fingers and shaking her head.

 

"What did you do Spectre?? I told you to keep things brief. If I had known you were going to lock me out of the bay and send her into a panic attack, I never would have allowed this!" The  _ tarin _ was nearly snarling, piercing one of her arms with a needle. "You need to leave. You have done enough to harm her, and she won't be answering anything else for another day at a minimum. Spirits, I don't want to think about how far you've set her back."

 

"Enough. We are here under Spectre Authority, and what I choose to tell her is none of your concern. Spirits, she didn't even know the year!" The comforting rumble took on a sharp edge, obviously furious though he tried to keep it contained. "She had every right to know what happened to her friends here."

 

"Enough, Spectre Kryik! I must insist you leave before you cause further harm to her. Her body is under too much stress, and if this continues-"

 

" _ Necon! Necor elinus min! _ Please!" Her fingers dug further into the armor, clinging desperately when he'd loosened his grip to address the medic better. She didn't know why, but he couldn't leave her. The thought of it alone made her sick, which only made her shift to cling to him better. "It’s making me sick. Need to stay. You have to stay!"

 

"Hush. I'm not going to go anywhere if you don't want me to, alright, but you have to breathe for me. Variso is right. You need to calm down,  _ Inluvis _ . Can you do that for me? Breathe with me." His talons pressed her closer to his keel, exaggerating his own breath to try and make her follow. All the while, he purred and let her cling, crooning encouragement as the medic sputtered and stumbled away. "Just listen to me. That's it. Ignore Rix and Variso. You're doing good."

 

It took a little while but her grip gradually relaxed, taking full, but stuttering breaths. As she calmed, she started to feel heavy and so incredibly tired which made her tense again.

 

"Shh. That's the meds Variso gave you. You were having a panic attack, and your Spirit was making matters worse. You're safe. I'm not going anywhere. It's alright,  _ Inluvis _ ." The pads of his talons massaged her scalp, his breath still exaggerated for her benefit. "Your pronunciation is crap by the way. If we're going to get you Asylum, we'll have to fix that."

 

Tasia barked out a laugh, slapping at his armored keel as it purred with amusement. "I had to basically guess the syntax you use, and figure out how to do the sounds on my own. Wrote down translations of the recordings we have, and then listened to it with my translator off for hours. You could at least give me some credit! At least I tried!" She shifted, chewing on her lip again and voice suddenly frail. "You mean it though? You're really going to stay? You're not just saying that?"

 

He huffed and tugged on her hair in a gentle reprimand. "I said I was, didn't I? I may not fully understand how your 'Juju',  _ spirasitus _ , or whatever you feel like calling it works, but I'm not going to let it send you into a complete panic and walk away." He stepped back slowly, releasing her hair to tilt her chin up. His mandibles spread into a slow smirk, tapping her chin with the back of a talon. "Fine. I supposed you can have a little credit since you learned it on your own with recordings. That doesn't mean I'm not going to break you of the bad habits you've likely formed that way."

 

"Yeah yeah, I get it. I'm crap at your language, and technically did something totally illegal by translating it as much as I did." It was getting harder to focus on him and the knowledge that she'd killed everyone. She whimpered pitifully, eyes heavy and struggling to keep her hold on his armor.

 

"None of that now." He gently pried her fingers from his armor, helping her lay back. "It wasn't your fault. I know you can't accept that now, but you will. When you're up to it we'll put their Spirits to rest, and then you can live for your friends. They would have wanted that, don't you think?"

 

Tasia sighed, settling back on the bed but never releasing the hand she held in her own. "I don't know if I can do this. We were supposed to go together. Hunt down the other Projects and help wipe them out. That was the promise we all made. That we wouldn't let this continue."

 

"You all fought to warn us that this was happening. If it will help, I will look through the files again for Korra. See what I can find out about what happened to her, but right now, you need to rest. Your body is weak, and needs to heal."

 

Tasia couldn't argue with him, barely able to keep her eyes open. She hummed a greeting when she heard someone approach again, giving the hand in her own a squeeze. "Thank you, Spectre Kryik. And Spectre? I'd rather you called me Tasia, and not what's on my file. We all had names to go to when this was done."

 

"Stop fighting and sleep already, you stubborn  _ obluvis _ ."

 

A second voice drifted to her as sleep beckoned, the drug she'd been given demanding she give in to its call. "You know our  _ fahrtrix _ is going to be furious, right Nihlus?"

 

"I don't care Avitus. The hum-Tasia deserves a chance, and I intend to give it to her."

 

"Nihlus..." The  _ torin _ chuffed, voice fading as she finally gave in to the siren's call of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? I'm not making you all wait for months? Nope. This muse is still going strong and taking over my brain. The only break I seem to get are the raiding nights in WoW. Even then I'm distracted. Thank you all for continuing this adventure with me. Let me know what you think in the comments! I'll see you again in a couple of weeks! Edited the chapter title because someone in discord gave it a better name.


	3. Panic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the thanks to AshAngelV for betaing for me!
> 
> Glossary courtesy of MizDirected:
> 
> Armiliteria -- The most popular board game amongst turians. It can be played by any number of players, but the standard set comes with 60 tiles for two players. Multiple sets can make for large, very intense games that last for months. The triangular tiles are made of horn, wood, or fired pottery clay, in decreasing order of value.   
> Kresat frasacti(s) -- Literal: herd spooker(s). Vernacular: crazy bastards  
> Licisin -- Equivalent of sons of bitches. Licisi -- Son of a bitch  
> Luxin -- Turian day made of 36 Ohran's  
> Mabul -- The turian equivalent of the expletive ‘fuck’. Mabulan is the equivalent of the -ing version of ‘fuck’. Derived from Irrumabul -- the word for non-consensual sex specifically between a superior and a subordinate.  
> Ohran -- Turian hour measuring 47 Earth minutes.  
> Quirte -- Applies to both genders equally. The equivalent of Mister or Miss, Missus.  
> Torin -- Torini plural. Male turian of the age of majority (15)  
> Tarin -- Tarini plural. Female turian of the age of majority (15)

Tasia's next waking was anything but gentle. Her eyes snapped open, blindly scanning for carmine plates and white paint. She caught sight of it a few beds over, speaking lowly to another  _ torin _ in white and green armor. Spectre Rix, unless someone else had armor similar to his. Her head swiveled to the other side of her bed, a third  _ torin _ reaching for her right arm, pulling a syringe from a pocket. The sight of it made her internal alarm scream, and she pulled her arm away as a silver-blue cloud erupted from her skin. She thrust her left hand toward the unknown  _ torin _ with a snarled command, unconsciously making the aura around her swirl and flare. "Stop!"

 

The aura slammed into the other  _ torin _ , holding him in place as Tasia scrambled to the far side of her bed. "Spectres, a little help here!" She ground her teeth, working to calm her heart, as well as try and get her internal alarm to calm. Her chest and head ached from being thrown into awareness, barely able to keep control of her biotics.

 

Armored talons clicked against the metal floor, confusion thrumming from their chests. "Tasia, he's supposed to be here. He's one of the Medical Officers here. He relieved Variso over an  _ orhan _ ago. Let him go." 

 

Black armor edged Into her vision, talons cautiously taking her wrist and pulling her arm down. He should have known better, considering what she'd told him before she'd panicked. "The syringe in his talons. You need to check what's in it. Setting off alarms in my head, I need to get away."

 

"We'll get it checked Tasia, but you need to let him go. Let us handle it." He forced her hand down, growling when it didn't immediately cause the medics release. "Tasia..."

 

"Get the thing out of his talons, then I'll let him go. Not going to risk getting stabbed with it while you seize him." Tasia didn't care that she'd snapped at the Spectre, her eyes trained on the medic she was keeping in stasis. She ignored Kryik's annoyed chuff, releasing her hold on the medic once he had the syringe. She shuddered, eyeing the liquid inside the barrel.

 

Kryik passed the syringe to his partner, shoving the medic toward a bed nearby as the other Spectre left for another room. "You're going to stay in here while Rix checks out what was in the syringe. Unless you want to come clean and tell us what's in it?" Kryik shrugged, seemingly uncaring as he pressed the medic against the side of the bed. He pulled cuffs from his armor, a placating thrum coming from his chest as he cuffed the other  _ torin _ to the bed's frame. "You understand don't you, Tamir?" The Spectre's mandibles were flared into a slight smile, stepping away after a quick check to make sure the cuffs were secure.

 

Tamir growled in annoyance, mandibles flicking sporadically, but didn't fight as he was guided to the bed. "It was only something to help her, nothing more. Something to help with the pain she must be in after your interrogation of her. She would have been fine. I don't understand why you're acting on this at all."

 

"Let's just say that I'm testing a theory Tamir, nothing more." The Spectre hummed, turning his head so he could spear Tasia with one emerald eye. "Was it already capped when he pulled it out or not?"

 

Tasia shook her head, finally settling back against her own bed and rubbing at her aching chest with one hand as the other pulled the blankets up as high as she could. "I'm not sure. He was moving for my arm, so I had to act fast."

 

"It's enough. We can work on that when we work on your revolting efforts at my language." Spectre Kryik glanced at her, mandibles pulling tight even as he started looking in the medics pockets. "Are you alright? You're rubbing at your chest as if it pains you."

 

Tasia shrugged, closing her eyes and swallowing to try and help the tickle in the back of her sore throat. "I went from a dead sleep to alert with an internal alarm screaming that I was in danger, and medical bays are always cold. Throats starting to hurt again though." She chuckled softly, opening her eyes partially so she could see the darkly armored  _ torin _ . "I have to ask, why are you always sending your partner away?"

 

The Spectre moved away from Tamir, giving her what could only be a bewildered look. "You do remember essentially begging me not to leave you alone, correct? Would you prefer that I did, or am I missing something?"

 

"No! No, I remember and I really do appreciate you staying with me, I just don't understand why you keep leaving him out of situations I suppose."

 

"Ah." A considering hum rolled from the  _ torins' _ chest, turning into a low growl as Tamir scoffed. "I don't want to hear from you until Avitus returns unless it's directly related treating symptoms Tasia is displaying. Am I clear?"

 

"Perfectly, Spectre Kryik."

 

Said  _ torin _ chuffed, annoyed that the medic had nothing more to say but let the matter drop otherwise. His gaze flicked between Tasia and Tamir, deliberate and calculating as he weighed his words carefully. "With your current medical condition, we thought it best that I remain your contact. Your keeper, if you will. If your throat is bothering you, there's a plastic pitcher on the tray to your left."

 

"Get answers from me while the other verifies. If you get compromised, the other acts with impunity." It wasn't something she would hold against the Spectre's at all, even if it did make her unhappy. She twisted, shivering as her arms left the warmth of the blanket to pour herself some water into the glass from before. It was hard because her hands were trembling, but she wasn't about to ask him to move away from the other  _ torin _ .

 

As she returned the pitcher and took her first sip of the chilled liquid, she couldn't help smile sadly. It was smart for one to be as removed from her as possible. If the other formed too much of an attachment, the other would be able to do what needed to be done with impunity. "I would have liked to get to know Spectre Rix at least a little, but I can respect the reasoning behind it all."

 

Tasia shifted, almost shrinking when she noticed she held the majority of his gaze. She hadn't said something wrong, had she? She had to have said something wrong because the look he was far too piercing for her liking. "What? What did I do?"

 

For several painful heartbeats, the Spectre said and did nothing but continue to stare. He looked at her as though she were a puzzle meant to be solved, only the absent flick of a mandible breaking the rising tension. "You are not like anything he warned me about. Not at all. I'm not sure if that's a positive sign."

 

Tasia frowned, confused as to what he could be referring to before it dawned on her. She wasn't like the humans he'd been told to expect. He most likely had only had contact with politicians and the worst humanity had to offer, there was no doubt that it had colored his vision. Just as humanity had tried to taint the younger generation against his own people. "Only you can decide if it's a good thing or not, Spectre Kr-" She was cut off when her chest seized, a ragged gasp escaping her before she started into a fit of paroxysmal coughs.

 

Her body jerked as she coughed, water spilling onto the blankets as her body forced air from her lungs after each desperate gasp of air. Talons nearly ripped the glass from her hands, setting it aside and pulling her back into a sitting position via an arm slipped under her back. Her chest and stomach screamed with pain with every cough, forcing her body to curl and jerk. The soaked blankets were shoved away from her legs, making her shudder from the chill as she coughed. Tears slid down her cheeks from the pain, only getting air from the short gaps between each bout. 

 

When it finally started to subside, she couldn't help but lean against the  _ torin _ beside her. She was cold, lightheaded with blood pounding in her ears and in pain. Heavens above, her body hurt so much. She tried to say something, but all that came out was a croak that led to another minor fit. She shivered and pressed further into black and red armor. Even through the slight chill on the surface of the ceramic, she could feel the heat coming off of him. 

 

He seemed hesitant, not knowing what to do even as a blanket was draped over her from the other side. He had to be following someone's instructions when he moved her off his armor, using the blanket as a barrier between her and the hard ceramic before letting her lean against him again. His hands started to rub her arms and back through the fabric, trying to warm her through the friction as she fought to breathe. Every few breaths would start another fit, though thankfully, none were as violent as the first one had been.

 

Someone pressed a plastic object that had wisps of smoke coming from one end against her mouth, slipping inside without fuss. At first, she coughed around it and tried to pull away, the cold mist was only irritating her throat, but they kept moving it with her until she caved and simply relaxed against the Spectre. Her breaths came easier with time, and she spent less time coughing around the plastic in her mouth and more breathing in the cool mist. 

 

Her head was still pounding, the muscles of her chest and stomach screaming as she recovered. All the while, his hands rubbed at her arms and ensured the blanket covered every inch of her that it could. His armor vibrated from the strength of his second voice that her mind eventually deciphered as a purr. Despite her head swimming, she couldn't help but think that Variso's estimate of a three-week recovery had been extremely generous. She had stopped shaking from the cold, opening her eyes as the irritating mist stopped flowing through the plastic and pulled away from her.

 

Tasia tried to say something, but a dulled talon was quickly pressed to her lips to prevent her from doing so. She was half tempted to lick the thing just to see the reaction before speaking anyway but decided against it. Those that controlled the Medical Bay were fickle creatures, and earning their ire was not something one should do. The thought made her giggle, the sound making her throat throb. Her glass was pressed to her lips again, and she obediently sipped at the lukewarm water.

 

"Tasia? You feeling any better?" There was a pause before the Spectre rumbled in amusement. "Use small words so I don't get in trouble for making you cough again."

 

She glanced up at the Spectre, and then at the medics tapping away at machines and putting away whatever they'd given her. Apparently, she was allowed to talk as long as she did what he said. Small words. She could do that. "Uh-huh. Chest 'n stomach hurt. Dizzy." She blinked owlishly, tilting her head as she stared at him. "Why are you shaking?"

 

The Spectre's mandibles flicked he made a choked sound, though she couldn't understand why. There was also some kind of undertone to his voice. Almost like he was holding something back. "I'm not the one shaking, you are. You weren't getting enough air because of your coughing, so you were given something to help you breathe. Would you like something to help with the pain?"

 

"Oh. That's weird." Why was she shaking then? Maybe she was still cold. That had to be it. She burrowed further into the blanket and Spectre, trying to absorb all the warmth she could. "Maybe? I dunno. Whatever they say is best."

 

"It’s the mist they gave you to help you breathe that’s making you shake." His talons combed through her hair, gently working on any knots they encountered. He shifted, one of his hands leaving her and making her whine until it was back in place. "You were right to stop Tamir. They found Thallium in the liquid he was going to give you. With everything else going on, we may not have been able to figure out he'd dosed you in time. Rix has him and will let me know why when he figures it out."

 

Tasia nodded, sighing in bliss as a second blanket was draped over her. Warm and safe now. "Thank you." It was meant for both the Spectre and whoever had put the blanket over her. A third hand patted her shoulder, so she figured they understood she'd been talking to them too. "Maybe 'cuz I'm a human?"

 

Kryik hummed, one set of talons tapping in consideration as the other continued to comb through her hair. "Could be, but it may not be that simple. Rix will find out, and we'll get the mess cleaned up." He chuffed, lightly flicking her with the back of a talon. "This was supposed to be a fairly simple op. Get in, take out the people in charge of the cell and get as many as we could out to take back to the Embassy. Called in a favor from Rix just in case I needed backup, commandeered a THS vessel and crew so we had a Med-Bay on hand in case some of you were hurt even."

 

Tasia grinned, a hand slipping through the folds of the blanket so she could poke at his keel through the gaps in his armor. "Spectre Kryik, are you whining about your mission?"

 

"Who me? Never. A Spectre never complains about his missions, no matter what." He huffed and flicked her again in retaliation, though she could hear the smile in his voice. "Not even when the only one left to question keeps causing problems."

 

Tasia snorted and immediately regretted the action, rubbing at her throat with the hand that had left her blankets. She lifted her head to look for the glass from before, only to see it being dangled in front of her by a tired looking Variso. She smiled sheepishly, taking it and sipping at it slowly. "They woke you up?"

 

The  _ tarin _ sighed dramatically, the sound whistling through her teeth as she shook her head and taking the glass back when Tasia stopped sipping at it. "Well, someone did try to poison you, and then you started that coughing fit of yours. Seeing as I watched you mostly unsupervised yesterday and didn't try to kill you, they figured I was the best replacement for now." The  _ tarin _ jabbed at her with one of her talons, giving her a stern look. "You're robbing me of my sleep, so you better make it up to me and behave for Spirit's sake. Just until they vet my replacement, and I can go back to sleep of course. Then you can cause havoc for that poor _kresat frasacti_ ."

 

Tasia laughed and nodded, taking the glass back for a few more sips before it was taken again. She would have been wondering why she couldn't hold it on her own if she hadn't seen just how much her hands were shaking. There was no guarantee that she would have been able to hold it for long. "Deal, but I have a question. Is it Doctor Variso, Medical Officer Variso or just  _ quirte _ ? Or should I just call you Ma'am and ask you how high to jump?"

 

Variso paused before a wide grin spread her mandibles, her gaze moving to the Spectre. "I like this human. Can we keep her? Please?" Her second larynx purred in pleasure, the  _ tarin's _ chin tilted just a little higher in pride. "Technically it's Lieutenant Variso, but I'm willing to let  _ quirte _ slide. Get to know me better and I may even say you can just call me Variso like Spectre Kryik does."

 

Kryik flicked a mandible, one brow plate raised and subvocals rolling with amusement. "We will have to see if we can keep her, though I am leaning towards it. At the very least, she could become quite an asset." He chuffed, shifting in unease. "You can't be comfortable leaning on me like this."

 

"I'm a sentient being, not a pet." Tasia frowned at the two Turians, biting the inside of her cheek when the Spectre shifted under her. As much as she didn't want to move away, she didn't wish to make the  _ torin _ uncomfortable either. "Sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable Spectre." The lack of warmth made her shiver, grabbing the edges of the blankets and pulling them tighter as she pulled away from him.

 

"You've talked enough. Even with the medicine in your system, your throat is never going to heal this way." Variso gently ushered Tasia back onto the bed, eyes flitting between the human and  _ torin _ before focusing on the terminals nearby, mandibles pulled tight at the readings. "You won't be resting anytime soon, but I cannot allow you to continue talking either. I'll see about getting something mild for discomfort, and something warm to drink as well."

 

"If you have a blank datapad, I can communicate using that. If not, I've been curious to try  _ Armiliteria _ ." Tasia twisted and folded one of the pillows in half, pointedly ignoring the warning rumble from Variso. She settled against the bed, propped slightly by the pillow as she smoothed the blankets with trembling fingers.

 

"I'll see what I can get. At the least, I know there will be a spare  _ Armiliteria _ set somewhere onboard. Just try to relax, keep warm, and for Spirit's sake, let us know if you need something?" Variso hesitated, eyes darting between the Spectre and Tasia before she left.

 

Kryik pulled a chair close to the bed again, settling into it and placing a hand beside Tasia's. "Just write on my hand like before if you wish to speak." His mandibles rotated deliberately, considering his words deliberately before he shook his head. "You weren't making me uncomfortable Tasia. Not really. It just couldn't be comfortable for you to be laying against the edges of my armor."

 

Tasia shrugged, shifting her hand so her fingers could dance over his hide.  _ 'You were warm, despite the armor. Turians run much warmer than humans after all, and even for humans, I tend to be cooler than average.' _

 

"If you were content, then you didn't have to move. That's not what I was implying when I said you couldn't be comfortable." Kryik ran his free talons through his fringe, an almost frustrated growl bubbling up from his chest.

 

_ 'It was my decision to pull away. Besides, we should be trying to keep some kind of distance.' _ Tasia felt a sad smile tug her lips, offering a gentle squeeze to the  _ torin’s _ hand.  _ 'You're compromised enough already when it comes to me.' _

 

That remark gave him pause before his eyes slid shut and he sighed. "You're right.  _ Mabulan licisi _ !" The Spectre growled, talons cutting into his hide as he clenched his fists. How could this have happened? It had only been a handful of days, and he was already compromised. Just thinking of ending Tasia's life made him want to keen.

 

Tasia squeezed his hand hard, digging her brittle nails into his hide until he looked at her again. She held his gaze, fingers moving slowly over his hide.  _ 'That's why your partner is here. It will be alright.' _

 

"And I'm supposed to believe you're alright with this? With the fact that I can do nothing to prevent it now? Tasia, we did everything we could to save you. Yes, it was so we could get as much information as we could before destroying everything so it couldn't be used against us. We didn't plan for what we found." Kryik made to stand, but the hand holding his wouldn't let go. "Let me go, Tasia."

 

Tasia shook her head, tugging herself up by using his hand as leverage. Variso could yell at her later, but some things needed to be spoken instead of written. "To be honest, it scares the ever loving shit out of me. I'm so scared that I'll answer your questions, and then Spectre Rix takes over and ensures you got every scrap of information from me only to discard me like garbage. That I'll die slowly, alone and in agony until I pass out and don't wake up again. Or worse, I'll wake up and be someone else's lab rat. So no, I'm not alright with it at all and don't you dare think that I am." 

 

Tasia swallowed, trying to ignore the fact that her voice was a trembling rasp. Her grip tightened on the Spectre's hand, trying to force herself to calm down. "I don't even know everything that happened to us. What they did to me. I'm terrified, alone and I'm breaking when that could kill me and I can't let that happen. I have to help you. Need to. I love your people more than I love my own and would do anything to keep them safe. Even if it means I never get to see what my help does for your future."

 

The Spectre grit his teeth, gums bleeding as he slowly settled back into his chair. He was better than this. He'd been trained better than this. What was so special about this mission, this girl, that pierced his training? Well, he could guess what it was, but it was nothing that he wanted to openly think about. "If it happens, you will not suffer. That, I won't allow."

 

Tasia shifted, chewing on her lower lip nervously. "I don't know if I'd want you there, or if I'd rather you stay away."

 

"Then don't think about it. It's not important now anyway. You need to give your voice a rest, or I'm the one that's going to be yelled at." The  _ torin _ gently pushed at Tasia's shoulder, wincing when he heard a growl from behind him.

 

"Right now, I'm furious with both of you. I told you not to talk!" Variso pushed Tasia back onto the bed, setting what she'd brought onto the tray before turning her full attention to Tasia. Her fury had pulled her mandibles tight to her face, the softer plates of her mouth barely moving when she spoke. "Open. I need to see the damage."

 

Tasia opened her mouth without complaint, giving the hand in hers another grateful squeeze before releasing it. She ignored the annoyed rumbles and clicks coming from the  _ tarin _ , more interested in the items somewhat hidden behind her.

 

"Well, it's not bleeding yet. No more speaking for the rest of the  _ Luxin _ , and very little of it tomorrow. If you listen, you should be fine. I have a datapad for you to use for communication. Not all of us can read human common, but I'll make sure one of us is always on hand that can." Variso shifted back to the things she'd brought, coming back with raw leaves between her talons. "Chew, but don't swallow the leaves. It should help with the pain and swelling. When you're done with that, three cups of the warmed water I have here for you."

 

Tasia glanced at the Spectre in askance, both wiggling her fingers and gesturing to the blank datapad before she took the herb and started chewing on it as she'd been instructed.

 

Kyrik sighed through his nose, rubbing his brow before fixing Variso with a stern look. "I can read human common, so communication will not be a problem. However, she knows some of our written languages. I will be working with her to see how far that extends. In the interest of keeping her from using her voice, I'll write questions out for her to answer on the datapad while she sleeps." He took the datapad but shook his head at Tasia’s gestures. “Not until you do as Variso ordered. If you’re still awake, then you can play with the datapad.”

 

"Good. The  _ Armiliteria _ board and tiles are on the tray here if you two are bored. No getting out of this bed until I clear you, got it? You may be used to a daily routine while in bad shape, but it is a practice I will not condone. It shouldn't be that long before you can walk around the room in any case."

 

Tasia pouted but nodded, briefly tapping her right fist to the center of her chest before leaning over to snatch one of the bags of tiles and eagerly peering into the bag. She took out a single tile almost reverently, tracing the smooth wood with the tips of her fingers. She absently spat the spent herb into a cloth when it was offered, more interested in looking over the triangular tiles one by one. She had barely done as Variso ordered her to do when she finally felt her eyes grow heavy again. She placed the tiles back into their bag, setting it on the tray beside her and falling asleep to the gentle tapping of talons against a datapad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, please let me know what you think of the tale! Released this a little early, because I won't be home at all tomorrow. Below is some more info, and trivia, for Armiliteria for those that want to know. 
> 
>  
> 
> Each tile contains three of the following: A unit ie: Infantry, an offensive tactic ie: mortar bombardment, a defensive tactic ie: armoured bunkers, a terrain ie: swamp, weapons ie: mortars or assault rifles, a special ability ie: sapping. 
> 
> The tiles are played so that adjacent sides are placed to counter the move made by the previous player who is involved in direct conflict with you. For example, if your opponent plays a tile with an open side of infantry, you could counter either with infantry of your own, an aerial bombardment, or even swamp or a cliff to stop or slow their advance. The overall strength of the tile’s value determines the degree of success of the maneuver. For instance: Choosing to slow an infantry tile with 100 units using a swamp tile with a 65% defense rating will allow 35 of the infantry to move forward into the next move. If you had only a weak infantry tile with 50 units, choosing to play the swamp will allow you to nullify the remaining infantry the following move.
> 
> Armiliteria is a game of highly evolved strategy, and victory comes from balancing not just the side of the tile you are facing, but being able to plan a way to counter the other sides as well, eventually fighting them to a standstill.
> 
> Trivia: 
> 
> \-- The Armilliteria Civica, the foremost club for aficionados of the game, has run a two hundred person game since 2173 that continues through to the Reaper War.
> 
> \-- During the First Contact War with humanity, high command kept a table of the game running for each theatre of the war, mapping out past campaigns and planning strategy for the future.
> 
> \-- The game is used to judge fitness for command amongst young officers, showing their ‘psychology of command’.
> 
> \-- The fastest victory in any game went to Adrien Victus at the age of twelve. He defeated his instructor in nineteen moves.


	4. Culture Exchange

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary:
> 
> Torin -- Torini plural. Male turian of the age of majority (15)

Five days. Tasia had been stuck in this bed, only allowed to out to use the restroom, for five days. Tasia may be tired and sore, but just laying there wasn't going to help that at all. Kryik was asleep in a bed just a few down from her own, and the room otherwise was empty. It had to be late in their daily cycle because she could barely hear anything outside the room. Then again, the sleeping purr coming from the Spectre could be masking it. Still, she was done laying in this bed with nothing but a board game and datapad full of questions to occupy her time.

 

Tasia sat up slowly, glancing over at the sleeping  _ torin _ to make sure she wasn't waking him on accident. She sighed when her feet touched the cold floor, pushing off the bed and padding away from the sleeping turian. He must not have been sleeping much if she wasn't disturbing him. Spectre's were said to wake at the slightest disturbance to their environment.

 

"You're not supposed to be out of bed. Any reason I shouldn't alert the Medical Officer in charge right now that you're up?"

 

Tasia slapped a hand to her mouth to stifle her shriek, twisting toward the voice she'd heard. How the torin could hide in white and green armor she had no idea, but he had. If he hadn't spoken, she had no doubt she would have been none the wiser. "For the love of God, I'm putting bells on you two. Jesus Christ on a pogo stick, give me a fucking heart attack. How the fuck did I not see you?"

 

Rix flicked a mandible, leaning back into the shadows he'd been hiding in. "It's a talent. Now, are you going to answer the question, or am I putting you back into bed myself?"

 

Tasia shook her head, rubbing her chest and looking back at the dark Spectre. He'd shifted, but she could still hear his sleeping purr. "I can't just lay down anymore. I'm not going to be doing much, just a bit of stretching and active meditation. I'm not willing to lose all of my own skills simply because of a mother hen." She chuckled, grinning at the Spectre as she moved further into the room. "Besides, you're here aren't you? You can keep your eyes on me and bully me back into bed if you think I'm doing too much."

 

The  _ torin _ hummed in consideration, looking toward his sleeping partner before chuffing dismissively. "He is intended to be your keeper, not me. He can deal with the matter once he wakes. So long as you don't die, I don't particularly care." He sat back, somehow blending into the shadows of the room despite his bright colored armor.

 

"Gee, thanks. I feel really cared for as a person, and not as a source of information." Tasia rolled her eyes, voice dripping with sarcasm and not a small bit of venom. She looked at the empty area separating the beds and wall and nodded to herself. She could reduce her stances enough to make it work.

 

She centered herself in the space, closing her eyes and concentrating on her breathing. Mentally taking stock of her body, noting the areas that hurt the worst and which were mere annoyances, she relaxed. She sighed in pleasure as her muscles relaxed and she began to move. Her arms moved in slow, sweeping motions, weight pouring from one foot to the other. She controlled her breath and timed each movement with every inhale and exhale.

 

In time there was nothing except her breathing and the beat of her heart. She could feel her biotics licking at her skin, wanting to be stretched and used but she batted the urge aside. This was meant to be a moment to relax and stretch her body. She briefly stirred when she heard a commotion behind her, but when it settled so did she. The Spectre had whatever it was handled, and she desperately needed this time.

 

She didn't know how long she had been moving, the sense of time regularly the first to leave when she did this, but another commotion made her stir from her relaxed state. This one was closer, and getting nearer still until they were directly in her path. There was a whisper of fabric and movement reaching for her, but she wasn't ready to be forced back onto her bed. She swept the talons off their path toward her shoulder, rolling her wrist as she moved around the body in her way. She guided the arm she'd diverted with an open palm, leading it behind the body and into an awkward angle as her other hand found the intruders back and pushed.

 

They slipped away with a stumble and she reluctantly allowed herself to rouse, bitter disappointment sitting in the back of her throat like bile. "Please don't just come up and grab for me when I'm in the middle of that. Not only is it rude, but it's also a very good way to get your arm broken, torn out of the socket, or even get yourself tossed into a wall." She wasn't familiar with the  _ torin _ she'd pushed away, taking in the unfamiliar smoky hide and plates, royal blue markings outlining their eyes and mandibles.

 

The  _ torin _ straightened, crest and mandibles flaring in indignation. "You were given strict instructions to remain in bed until Lieutenant Variso cleared you. Doing that, whatever you were doing unsupervised, let alone without medical approval will only worsen your health!"

 

Tasia sighed in exasperation, any calm she'd managed to achieve quickly fleeing due to the idiot in front of her. She glanced at the Spectre's, upset to see that Kryik had woken sometime during her getting up and this fools interference. "There are several problems with what you just stated, though some of it can be forgiven due to cultural ignorance. Problem one, I had supervision and a moderately cool go ahead to do so by Spectre Rix. I believe his exact words were, 'So long as you don't die, I don't particularly care'. Am I dead, or in immediate danger of dying? No? There you go."

 

"That doesn't matter! Until-"

 

Tasia made her hand slice through the air between her and the now sputtering Medical Officer, raising her voice to cut off his protesting. "Problem two! What you saw was what humans call Tai Chi Chuan. It is one of many martial arts practiced on Earth, and this one specifically is a mind-body exercise. It integrates slow, gentle movements, breathing and a variety of cognitive components, including focused attention, imagery, and multi-tasking."

 

"You are not cleared-!"

 

Tasia stalked toward the floundering  _ torin _ , her frustration, and fury over the matter, and the fact that the  _ torin _ kept trying to talk over her, reaching their limit. "Problem three! This martial art has been shown to have multiple health benefits, up to and including helping those that have developed heart problems! I was at peace and getting ready to parse everything that has happened since I crawled out of my fucking bed, hypothermic and dying, and you ruined all of it! If anything, you're only making it worse, and refuse to see that because you think you know everything!"

 

"Tasia." Talons fell gently on her shoulder, the voice behind her level but with a resigned hint of command. "Enough."

 

Tasia growled, not needing to turn to know that Kryik was the one keeping her in place. She wanted to twist and knock his hand away, but she didn't. She ground her teeth and clenched her fists, trying to find and reclaim the tattered shreds of calm she'd had only minutes earlier. "Yes sir, Spectre Kryik."

 

Her response earned an approving hum and gentle squeeze before the hand dropped away. "Think you can get back into the state you were in or is that out of the question now?"

 

Tasia shook her head, frustration making it nearly impossible to stand in place. She longed to wring the interfering  _ torin's _ neck, so she forced her hands behind her back, fingers locking around opposing wrists to keep her from doing something stupid. "Trying to return to that state right now would be a mistake. I'm more likely to cause harm than anything else. If my health permitted it, I would be asking to spar with someone that had experience sparring with someone incapable of controlling their blows at that moment."

 

"Unacceptable. Get yourself under control." His voice was sharper this time, very nearly barking at her. He stepped past her, armor just barely brushing her shoulder as he stepped into the other  _ torin's _ face. "And you. Get out, and do not return unless Tasia's readings show she's in immediate danger. Am I clear?"

 

"Understood, Spectre Kryik!" The  _ torin _ skirted around the dark armored Spectre, practically fleeing from the room.

 

Tasia should have been amused by the spectacle, and distantly she was, but right now she was too furious to truly enjoy it. Everything in her demanded a violent release, a far cry from the person she normally was. Bottling the emotions was never a good thing and always caused more problems in the end so that solution was out as well. She could throw caution to the wind and perform a harder style of martial art, what little she could remember of it at least, but that wasn't wise either.

 

Tasia hissed and started to pace, aware of both sets of eyes watching her like a hawk. There was too much on her and she had needed the peace he'd shattered. She paused when she felt her biotics licking at the surface again, frowning in consideration. The way she used biotics didn't require the harsh motions others used to actually use it. It would make them stronger for sure, but she'd always had finer control. Maybe that would be enough?

 

Tasia turned and went back to her bed, hopping onto it and settling herself in its center. She let her biotics flare and settled her hands onto her lap, eyes on the swirling threads of silver. She slowly began to condense the field, twisting it into itself until the threads began to take shape. She forced her will upon the nearly tangible biotic field, starting with simple circles and squares and moving into more complex shapes. With each new shape, she felt herself relax a little more and pushed her ability even farther. When she decided two dimensions weren't enough, she started working on making them three dimensional.

 

After several minutes she extinguished her biotics with a sigh, dropping her head into her hands. She had never been so angry before, and it had taken over so quickly. She wasn't handling things half as well as she'd made her watchers believe. As she'd allowed herself to believe.

 

"Are you under control Tasia?" The voice was still sharp and commanding, clearly trying to establish at least a little distance between them. Too little too late.

 

"As much as I am able to attain at this time, yes sir. A few minutes more and I can make another attempt at active meditation." Tasia chanced a glance at the darker Spectre, frowning in concern. "You should go back to bed, Spectre Kryik. You look exhausted."

 

The  _ torin _ went to wave away her complaint, but halfway through the motion had to cover his mouth as he yawned, tongue curling behind the needle-like teeth. He shook his head vigorously as if trying to shake off the previous influence sleep had had on him. "I'll be fine. I'm more concerned with the behavior you showed earlier. I would not have guessed you had such a temper. It's not even marked on the file these people had on you. Care to explain?"

 

Tasia absently cracked her fingers, trying to find a diplomatic way to phrase what she needed to say before deciding to just be blunt about it. "I am not dealing with what's happened. At all. I'm focused on helping the two of you, giving you any possible lead I can think of, and ignoring my own state. I don't think I can do that any longer. I need to deal with what I have caused here."

 

The bed dipped as Kryik settled himself on the edge of the bed, and Tasia flinched as both  _ torin _ began using their subvocals to communicate. She tried her best not to guess what they were speaking of, but she couldn't stop herself from hearing their emotions. Whatever it was, it was a point of contention between the two. Spectre Rix was against it, but Kryik was insisting. Rix eventually gave a rumble of consent, followed by a sharp thrum of exasperation. 

 

"Whatever it is you're discussing if it's going to cause problems between you both, please reconsider. I don't want to cause problems between you and ruin your working relationship, let alone any personal relationship you may have." Tasia squirmed, looking at Kryik when his hand fell on her shoulder again.

 

"If you want to heal from this place, then you need to know what was actually done here. What was done to you. Av-Spectre Rix is just concerned that this knowledge may contain information that would make the situation worse." He squeezed her shoulder gently, an almost pitying look in his eyes. "It's up to you whether you watch it or not. I think it would be a good idea, but it's ultimately your choice Tasia."

 

Tasia hid her face in her hands again, unsure what she needed to do. Did she take the information offered and pray it helped her figure things out, or did she ignore it? Was the fact that she could know going to be enough to distract her in the future? Humans were creatures that tended to focus on the 'What if' when given time down or facing consequences for a decision. But then, did all species face that same issue? She uncovered her face, seeking the second Spectre hidden in the shadows. "I want your opinion on this if that isn't too much to ask Spectre Rix. I'd rather make a fully informed decision, instead of a rash one and come to regret it later."

 

The Spectre stepped from the shadows slowly, eyes inscrutable as they focused on Tasia. He spoke in a clipped tone, and she only barely hear the agitated growl underneath it all. "I don't like it for many reasons, but I'll try to keep it brief for you. We don't know if you've been conditioned to be a sleeper, and if a phrase in the recordings will trigger it. The recordings themselves are not something just anyone should watch, and it could potentially break you mentally. However, there is a point that may be the only redeeming thing about allowing you to watch them. You may be able to discern something that we missed from listening. Things that we need to look into and can lead us to other Projects if there are others to be found."

 

Tasia nodded, her brow furrowed as she considered everything. She could ignore it and possibly think about what she may have learned later in her life. She could also be forcibly shown it by an enemy in an attempt to shock her long enough to be captured or worse. On the other hand, she could watch it now and risk being activated as a sleeper. However, she may be able to divine something to help them find others and potentially save lives. Neither decision was a good one but in the end, nothing ever was easy.

 

"I will tell you anything I glean from the recordings as I hear it, but a sudden shift in behavior needs to be addressed as quickly as possible. I refuse to be used against either of you or your people. If I cannot be snapped out of it, returned to as I am now?" Tasia gingerly touched the hand on her shoulder, dropping her eyes to her lap. "I-If I cannot be reached, you need to put me down before I really hurt someone."

 

A rumble of approval came from her left, but the  _ torin _ to her right only tightened their grip on her shoulder, a keen cut off almost as soon as it came about. She offered Kryik a squeeze to his hand, swallowing past the lump that was building in her throat. "It's the best way to do this. Give you as much as I can to go on, and you can know for certain if I'm a threat or not. If I am, well, at least I won't be anymore." She lifted her head, lips pressed together in determination. "The last thing I ever want to be is a weapon to be used against the Hierarchy. I guess what I'm trying to say is thanks in advance for not letting that happen, and for respecting my wishes."

 

"Are you sure about this Tasia? Once you start, it will only stop when you need to take a break." The Spectre couldn't hide his concern, nor his pride in her choice. So many would have preferred to be left in the dark over this, rather than face it.

 

"Yeah, I'm sure. I may regret it at first, but I think you're right about the healing. Knowing what was done to me and to the others? I think it'll help in the long run. Besides, nothing was ever gained by running away when things get hard. It'll be worth it in the long run." At least, Tasia hoped that it would be. 

 

Kryik removed his hand from her shoulder and his weight left the bed. He didn't move far, he had only moved to distance himself from her. "When do you want to start?"

 

Tasia shrugged, following Kryik off the bed and making her way back to the space she'd occupied before. "I still have a couple questions to answer on the datapad, but I want to center myself some before answering anything. Too much going on in my head to be decent at the game." She grimaced when she stopped, gingerly pulling her lanky hair in front of her face. "And despite the feeling that I'm going to want to scrub myself raw after watching all the crap, I'd really like a shower. It can't be pleasant for you all either, even though I've been using the sink to at least wipe down my skin. And I've never thanked you for grabbing my spare clothes from the room I was in when you found me."

 

"We can do that. Get yourself centered, and when Variso checks you next we'll make sure you get to shower. It just might take a bit because your body won't be able to handle the temperatures we prefer, and she may insist on helping you to ensure your safety."

 

Tasia felt her face heat, shifting awkwardly at the thought of someone helping her bathe. While she'd gotten somewhat used to others showering with her, she'd also made it very clear to everyone in the Project that she did not appreciate passes made by just anyone. Painfully so in most cases. "Right, that... Yeah. I think I could handle Variso being the one to monitor me, but no  _ torin _ . I'm sure you've read that I made it very clear I don't appreciate attempts to, ah, liaise with the opposite sex in the showers."

 

Both  _ torin _ snorted, openly amused at her obvious discomfort. "You'd best get used to it if you want any hope of being in the Military. Hell, It's not uncommon for Turians to go around naked in the bunks."

 

"One major difference. Your reproductive organs are hidden due to the increased radiation of your world, while humans are external. Human males like to, ah, compare themselves and in my experience need to be violently reminded that looking and not touching is a thing. Zero boundaries and respecting of personal space." Tasia shifted, her embarrassment turning more somber. "Max was the only one I was close enough to be comfortable with... things."

 

"Ah, so Max was a lover as well as your partner in crime? He helped protect you from the other males competing for your affections?" Kryik sounded genuinely curious and overly amused as her skin burned even brighter.

 

"That's not something you just ask! Jesus, if I didn't know it was a culture difference, I'd be thinking I'd have to violently dissuade you too." Tasia fanned her burning face, keeping both  _ torini _ behind her as she struggled to control her embarrassment. "Max was a lover, yes. The only one I've had if you must know. Everyone was watched closely, supposedly to keep us from being able to relieve stress in such a way, not to mention prevent accidents. Doesn't mean it didn't happen. He was sweet about everything and careful. Always making sure I was comfortable and felt respected, even when I told him no. We both knew we were never going to be more than the occasional lovers, but he always used to say that he hoped the one he would fall in love with was like me. A woman that knew her boundaries and wasn't afraid to speak up about it." 

 

She smiled sadly, remembering nights where they'd snuck into each other's rooms and just talked for hours. "Any lover I take now has very big shoes to fill. A bar has been set, and I refuse to lower it now that it's there. Sometimes we'd get together just to cuddle and exist. He was more than a lover and more than a friend. Had we been Turian and raised with the full knowledge of what it means, we may have considered Karifratrus."

 

The bay went silent, the only sound that of the three of them breathing. It was some time before the silence was broken. "That is... not something you would swear lightly. Not something to even consider as a passing thought. It is a sacred vow to us that stretches even beyond death. It's said that a true Karifratrus bond will remain strong over countless lifetimes."

 

"'Family isn’t always blood. It’s the people in your life who want you in theirs. The ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile, and who love you no matter what'." Tasia turned and smiled at both  _ torin _ only the slightest hint of sadness in her eyes. "It's a human saying. I loved Max, and I know he loved me, but we both knew we were meant for others. If we ever had need of the other, we would have gone through heaven and hell to help. Nothing would keep us from getting to the others side so that they could return to their family. I can barely remember crawling from my bed to the door the day you found me. Everything was blurry and I was so cold and tired, but I remember his voice. He kept me awake and moving when I wanted to give up, and when you found me? He reminded me of the promise we all had made. To do everything that we could, take everything we had learned, and use it to help as many as possible. If that's not worthy of the bond, I'm afraid I will never be capable of understanding what is."

 

The Spectre's looked at one another, mandibles flicking in unspoken words before Rix stood and made his way toward her. He stopped barely a step away from her and offered her his arm with his mandibles spread loosely for the first time in her presence. "The name's Avitus Rix of the Council's Special Tactics and Reconnaissance, but you can call me Rix." His mandibles spread further as she gripped his forearm, and he returned the grip firmly. "As for you not understanding the bond? You have a damn good handle on it, and I have no doubt that even without it, the Spirit's will honor it as if you had sworn it."

 

He released her arm and stepped aside as his partner took his place, offering his own arm. "Nihlus Kryik, same group as that idiot. It'd be an honor if you'd call me Nihlus."

 

Tasia didn't know what to say as the  _ torini _ formally introduced themselves, gripping their arms only out of habit bourne through training. Her mind was blank, and she tried to find the words to express just what this meant to her. If she was honest, she never would be able to find the words. She pushed through her shock a grin stretching over her face as she finally released the arm she held. "It is my honor to meet you both. Call me Tasia, or if you're comfortable with it, Tas. I respond to either one. Rix, Nihlus, thank you."

 

"No Tasia, thank you. You do the Spirits of your friends proud." Rix's taloned hand clapped her shoulder, a rumble of amusement coming from his chest. "Seems I have some catching up to do if I'm to get to know you as well as Nihlus."

 

Tasia laughed, slapping the Spectre's shoulder as her grin grew even larger. "Most definitely. Maybe we should combine forces and force him to return to his sleep? Then we can talk over a game of Armiliteria, or maybe I can even walk you through the forms I use in my meditations? In the interest of a cultural exchange of course."

 

Both ignored Nihlus' sputtering, Rix turning toward the  _ torin _ and bullying him back toward the bed. "Sounds like a plan to me! Come on Nihlus, go back to sleep. My turn to get to know our resident human."

 

"I do not need to sleep! I slept enough before we had to kick out the Medical Officer! Come on Avitus, I'll be fine!"

 

"Don't make me tranq you! I've done it before, and I would gleefully do it again!"

 

"You wouldn't dare!"

 

Tasia let her head fall back and she laughed. Ever since she'd first woken up, she'd felt the heavy weight pressing down on her. Now? Now that weight was gone and she had hope again. Maybe she wasn't as alone as she'd thought she'd be.


	5. Sick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things you can never unsee.
> 
> Again, thank you MizDirected for the use of your Turian Cultural Info and Dictionary!
> 
> Pueriti -- Baby/infant under the age of 1  
> Tarin -- Tarini plural. Female turian of the age of majority (15)  
> Torin -- Torini plural. Male turian of the age of majority (15)  
> Spirasitus -- The primitive, base spirit or the most primal part of an individual. The seat of instincts and reflexes, drives and desire.

Even with the warnings the Spectre's had given her, she wasn't prepared for what she'd seen. In truth, she doubted anything could have prepared her what had been done to her. To all of them. The first day she'd only lasted a handful of minutes before cutting off the recordings and running to empty her stomach. The second day had been even worse. After a week, she had only managed to get through a handful of recordings. The depth of depravity some of the so-called scientists had? The movies she'd watched back on Earth didn't even scratch the surface of what some people could stoop to.

 

They'd been tortured, and they hadn't even been aware of it. For some of the worst of it, she'd been awake and screaming, begging for them to kill her. The scientists would simply laugh at her and keep going, only making sure that she was drugged enough that she would never remember. Nanobots had been used to weave experimental mesh around her bones and into organs. All of it had been replaced and repaired countless times. The only reason she didn't have monstrous scars was due to yet another experiment that left glowing scars that would seamlessly merge after some time spent resting. Those that reacted badly to procedures? If they couldn't be salvaged, they were allowed to die and then dissected to find out what had gone wrong.

 

For Tasia, the worst part was finding out she'd been raped while they worked on her. She hadn't been able to shut the recording off in time and had ended up revisiting her lunch to the sick sound of it before the Spectre's had had a chance to turn it off. She should have known it was coming, but she'd refused to consider it until she saw it. The illusion that it had only been days since they been put under only worked when they could still feel the slight twinge of activities done a night or two prior.

 

Nightmares were becoming a constant companion as well. After the first night of waking up screaming and fighting against anything that touched her, they'd tried holding her down. If anything, that made it worse. It had been a pure coincidence that they'd discovered something that calmed her. Rix had turned off his translator for a reason she wasn't privy to when she'd started into another nightmare. In his haste to reassure and calm her, he'd forgotten to turn it back on so the only thing she'd heard was his native clicks and trills. Being able to disassociate him from the English speaking scientists was a boon they hadn't expected, but one they were willing to use and abuse with glee. It was automatic to shut the translators off now when she finally passed out and to wake her with their native language.

 

Now, after watching countless hours of torture, she was going to be revisiting it to try and glean information. She'd been too sick and shocked to properly pay attention before, but now that she knew what to expect, she hoped to be able to listen and help the Spectre's figure out where to go from here.

 

"You don't have to do this again Tasia. We would understand if it's too much. What they did to you, well, it would turn anyone into a mess and recovering from that would take time." Rix was still uncomfortable offering physical comfort as freely as Nihlus, but he still gingerly placed his hand on her shoulder. "Torturing yourself with this until you break won't help."

 

"No, but getting you and Nihlus the information to prevent this from happening to anyone else? That alone, makes it worth any cost I must pay." Tasia offered the  _ torin _ a brittle smile before her gaze dropped to the datapad in her hand, swallowing back bile. "’Courage is not the absence of fear, but the judgment that something else is more important’. That saying is attributed to so many people, I've never bothered giving credit for it, but it's never been more relevant. I want to do this Rix. I have to make it stop."

 

The bright armored Spectre hummed, hand leaving her shoulder as he took a seat beside her. "If you’re sure." He hesitated, shifting before growling at himself. "You are either incredibly brave and resilient or a fool. I pray to the Spirits that it is the former."

 

Tasia laughed, the sound bitter and scared. "Oh, it's a mixture of all of the above I suppose. As for Spirits, I only hope that it will bring closure to those I knew in life. That through us, they will find peace in knowing that we are working to prevent it from happening again." She shook her head, flicking the screen of the datapad and picking a file she'd seen at random.

 

She forced herself to listen to the banter and playful jibes as she watched herself be cut open. Banter that became more clinical as the hours passed. Scientists rotated out, and her body was given minimal rest as they worked her over and 'improved' her. Not a word or gesture seemed out of place or odd until they were five hours into watching the vid. Nihlus had joined them unobtrusively minutes before and was offering a break to eat something just as something drew her attention on the screen.

 

"You should eat. You've been at this for hours-"

 

"- Infinity wanted this..."

 

"Nihlus quiet for a second! Fuck, how do I make this thing go backward?? I missed it!" Tasia tapped on the datapad, swearing colorfully as she nearly dropped it. There was something important that she had missed, and she very nearly snarled when the thing was plucked from her fingers.

 

"My translator didn't fully catch what you were saying, but I think I should be glad about it. Spirits, you kissed your mother with that mouth?" Nihlus huffed and handed the datapad back, the slight humor vanishing a heartbeat later. "You found something?"

 

"I know I did, Nihlus. Now I have to figure out what I've found." Tasia said nothing as both  _ torin _ pressed close, all of them giving the screen their undivided attention.

 

The scientists were working on a hole in her back, slipping a casing into place. She absently noted that it had to be the second amp, though why she needed two would be answered later. It was surprisingly the lead scientist that spoke up as he soldered components into place. "Found out that they wanted this one in Infinity and Genesis. The biotic potential she has made her an invaluable piece, or that's their argument anyway. Had to make the argument that we didn't have enough just to keep her. I'll be glad when we start getting the new ones in again once this batch is out. They're coming along perfectly."

 

"If they want more biotics, there are other places to look for them. Besides, it would make her lash out if we moved her after all this time, it doesn't take an Einstein to know that. She already knows that she won't be working with the damned skull-faced freaks she likes so much. Not that she'll remember before it's too late to do anything about it." The second scientist sneered down at her, and she was sure he would have spat at her if he could have. "Damned xenophiliac."

 

"Hey, she's fucking that other kid, so she's not completely hopeless. Maybe he can cure her, but if he can't, then we can just implant her with the proper disgust later." The first scientist shrugged, sighing when a monitor started to wail. "Oh well. Let's close her up for the day. Seems her body won't take much more for right now."

 

Tasia tapped the screen, only peripherally aware of the eyes watching her. They were no doubt waiting for her to tell them what she'd gleaned, but that could wait a moment. Her hands were shaking as she set the datapad aside, jaw clenching and releasing every few seconds as she fought to regain her calm. When that didn't seem to be happening anytime soon, she hissed the information through clenched teeth. "Infinity, Einstein, and Genesis. You need to look through their records for that."

 

"You're positive of this?" Rix sounded skeptical but was still entering the words onto his Omni Tool.

 

"Nihlus hasn't told you about my  _ Spirasitus _ ? For shame. You should ask him while you both look up the information through your contacts and all that Spectre crap you have access to." Tasia flipped a hand dismissively, moving to stand before a hand held her in place. "I wouldn't do that right now."

 

"Talk to me, Tasia. What's wrong?" Nihlus pressed closer, voice low and concerned. "What upset you this time that didn't the first time you saw it?"

 

Tasia tensed further, wanting to ignore the question but knowing it was futile. Nihlus would just press until she gave in. He'd done it more than once when it came to her nightmares. "The second scientist just said something that pissed me off. I will assume that not all the words translated for you both. He called me a xenophiliac, which is when a person has affection for unknown, foreign objects or people. In this case, he's assuming that my love for your people comes from a desire to fuck them."

 

Nihlus tilted his head, mandibles flicking as he regarded her. "He's dead now, and his opinion no longer matters."

 

"Except the fact that his opinion is shared by thousands of my own people! Possibly millions! If you don't want to keep an alien at arm's length, it's only because you want to fuck them! It a recurring theme in human history." Tasia tried to pull away, but Nihlus had an iron grip on her. Unless she wanted to cheat her way out of this, she wasn't going to get away. "It's no better than calling someone a whore. Before I saw all this shit, I truly thought that the only one that touched me was Max."

 

"And now you feel like one, and that fact is changing something in you. You're rebelling against the change by taking any outlet you can get." Nihlus caught the fist aimed for his face easily, pulling Tasia close and pinning her arms down as she struggled.

 

"Let me go damn you! Let me go, or I swear I'll rip you off with my biotics!" Tasia writhed and kicked desperately as she attempted to get away from Nihlus, even though she knew she would never really carry out her threat. She knew that she would never hurt him voluntarily.

 

"Tasia, you and I both know you aren't going to do that." Nihlus huffed and shook his head, shifting to make sure he wasn't actually hurting her. "Nothing I say will ever make it better, and I know that. That doesn't mean I'm not going to try." His mandibles flicked, breath whistling through his teeth. "If nothing else, be glad that you were given a choice as to who touched you first. You could do nothing to stop those that touched you later, but what you've said about Max tells me that he would have been the type to cherish what you gave him. Remember that, Tasia. Remember your times with him and if nothing else, believe that if he'd known it was happening to you he would have respected you even more. What you're doing now would have made him so proud."

 

Tasia glared at Nihlus as best she could, even though she knew he was right. Damn the perceptive ass! "As you said about the scientist, he's dead and his opinion doesn't matter, as much as I wish it otherwise."

 

"Only if you don't allow it to matter. To Rix and I, he is a victim of the worst scum in the galaxy. To you? He's so much more than that. You took the scientists words and gave them value, do the same for Max." He slowly released his grip, letting Tasia move away while he thrummed miserably. "I wish there was something more I could to help you. If I didn't know you'd be stronger for it, I would take the knowledge from you."

 

"I just wish I could hear him say the words himself." Tasia sighed, deflating as the truth in the words registered. "This is going to seriously fuck me up, and there's not a soul I can talk to about it. I think that's going to be the hardest part about this."

 

"I know, but you aren't alone either. I can't speak for Avitus, but I can tell you that I'm willing to listen whenever you need to talk. And to force you to talk when I feel you need to."

 

"You've made that abundantly clear, Kryik." Tasia rolled her eyes, rubbing at her forehead. She needed to move away from the topic while she could, so she turned her focus back to what she'd pointed out earlier. Infinity, Genesis, and Einstein. What was it about those three words that made her sick? "Einstein was a theoretical physicist, however, his name is used as a derogatory term for someone who says something obvious or who did something especially stupid. Infinity is pretty self-explanatory, and Genesis is a book in the Christian Bible that talks about creation and also means origin."

 

She didn't see the look Nihlus gave her for changing the subject, but she did hear the slightly annoyed buzz in his words. "Alright. So why use those words?"

 

"Because it has some kind of meaning to the people the project they're focused on? Like how they used Talon for the Turian project. They could have used Raptor, Predator or something along those lines. They referred specifically to one of the most dangerous parts about you." She froze mid-step, swaying on her feet as she turned the words over in her mind. What if they stayed on trend and referred to things that were dangerous about the people themselves?

 

One may be referring to the mind of the people, and another may be referring to their beginning. The last was hard to define. Greater numbers of some kind? Or perhaps it referred to time. Wait. "Asari believe that every action sends ripples across the galaxy in some kind of Butterfly Effect and that everything is connected. Salarians are known to be brilliant scientists because they process everything so much faster. Infinity is Asari, Einstein is Salarian. Genesis is the origin of something. No, not an origin, the birth. The creation. They were making something? Something they wanted me for."

 

Rix cleared his throat, mandibles high and tight against his face. "You said it yourself, it's the birth. If they wanted you for it, it may be because they wanted to breed you for the unique gene you carry."

 

Tasia paled at the thought, hands grabbing the hem of her shirt and tugging it to expose her stomach. Her fingers frantically searched the expanse of scarring, whining when she only felt the faint lines she already knew were there. There was nothing definite she would be able to find simply due to the fact that there were so many.

 

"Tasia? Tasia, what are you doing?" Nihlus tugged the shirt down and pulled her hands away, trilling with concern when he saw the fresh panic in her eyes. "Tell me what you're looking for."

 

"Needles going into my sides and drawing something out. Like drawing blood, but it wouldn’t be blood." She glanced between the two  _ torin _ , then let her head fall onto ceramic armor. "They don't need my body to create life, just my part of the genetic code. The eggs."

 

"Wait, I thought humans had live births. What do eggs have to do with it?"

 

"We do. Males hold the sperm that fertilizes the eggs held within the female body. It's probably called something different in your language and doesn't translate properly. I don't know the terms you would use." Tasia let her head fall onto the armor again, welcoming the blossoming headache and pain. "Only know the very basics of Turian reproductive anatomy. Hidden internally due to radiation, live births, babies are called fledglings or Puer... something. Puerita?"

 

" _ Pueriti _ . They're called  _ Pueriti _ . They can do that? Just take the eggs out of you?" Nihlus clucked in admonishment and held her head still when she went to let it fall on him for the third time. "Stop that."

 

"Yeah. They can do that." Tasia swallowed, shaking her head as best she could with his hands holding it still. "Sorry. It's a practice starting in the early twenty-first century, or late twentieth century. Take the eggs out and freeze them to be used later when a woman's life was potentially more stable for a child. A woman could choose to use their husband's, mate's, sperm or an anonymous donor's sperm could be used if there was no mate. They were supposed to keep track of the sperm and test for hereditary junk that would make the child's life difficult, but it was a complete mess when it started. Entire batches of eggs lost due to improper temperatures, men lying on their medical sheets and passing along hereditary diseases and worse. A woman is born carrying all children she will ever have within her body, while a man can create as much sperm as he needs. It's why the practice exploded the way it did."

 

"And you think they may have done it to you. Another thing we will have to look for in the recordings if that's what you want. That, or maybe they documented it in your file. Spirits, there's still so much we need to sift through." Nihlus sighed, releasing his hold on Tasia's head and running his talons through his fringe.

 

"No. Focus on the other projects. Don't-Don't look into it right now. We are working on a time limit, and we don't have the timer. If they were close to getting live targets for us, they may already have some for the other ones. They may be prepping them for deployment into the actual field even. We don't know, and we need to focus on getting that handled first. My issues are not a priority." Tasia stepped away, glancing at the datapad with trepidation. "Food, then we keep going. I keep going. You two do your Spectre thing and see if anyone has heard anything about projects with those names, or something similar."

 

"What makes you think we are on a time limit?" Rix stood and stretched, purring in satisfaction as his back gave a satisfying crack. "Nothing we've seen has hinted at it."

 

"Because they were talking as though they were in some way communicating with someone in charge. How long can something like this go dark before it's investigated? How long until they play things safe and assume this place is compromised and move? You have something to go on now, and hopefully, I'll be able to provide you with more." Tasia winced as Rix cracked his neck, her own twinging with pain at the thought of trying to crack it like that.

 

"Then let's get to it. I'll grab some rations for us, and while you look at the records, Nihlus and I can get on the comms. I'll get a second datapad for you to write things down on. You still have unanswered questions on the first." Rix bumped her shoulder with his arm as he left, raising a hand when she grumbled at him.

 

“There was plenty of room you know! You don't have to bump into me." Tasia huffed and fell into one of the chairs, rubbing at the shoulder. "I swear, you two want me to be black and blue."

 

"It's a cultural difference." Nihlus hummed and held a cup of water in front of her face until she took it, leaning against the chair she'd fallen into. "Tapping shoulders like that is a gesture of friendliness. To press shoulders together is a gesture of support, with the amount of arm touching indicating how close of a friend the two are. I think your equivalent would be slapping you on the back or shoulder, or just throwing your arm around someone." Nihlus paused, the hide of his neck darkening as he cleared his throat. “If you attempt the gesture, never press the back of your shoulder into the carapace or keel. In fact, the hip bump thing humans do? Don't do that either. Both can signal that you're wanting a sexual relationship."

 

Tasia choked on the water she'd been drinking, coughing and setting the cup on the floor by her foot. "Seriously?? Thank you for the warning, because I definitely would have made a fool of myself." Tasia fanned her face a little, looking anywhere but the dark Spectre. "Seriously, thank you. I wouldn't want to send mixed signals or worse."

 

"It's not a problem. Turians are more open about sex and running around without armor or even tunics than your own, but explaining it to an outsider is somewhat uncomfortable." Nihlus chuckled, flicking his talons. "I don't want you stumbling into an awkward situation just because some things that humans find acceptable mean something completely different to us."

 

"And I appreciate that more than you know. If I can ever return the favor, please let me know." Tasia fought to control her blush, and avoid squirming under Nilus' gaze. She could at least be grateful that everything was explained before it became a problem. Right? "Sorry to make you uncomfortable though."

 

"It will pass, and it needed to be explained. Is there another word that you might be able to use for your ability? The word you use, no offense, is silly, and childish. At least, it looked like it when I looked up the word."

 

Tasia frowned and drummed her fingers against her thigh. He had a point, as much as she hated to admit it. If she ever needed to expose the ability to anyone other than Nihlus and Rix, it wouldn't be taken seriously. "I honestly don't know. You said you think it's from my  _ Spirasitus _ right? Spell it for me?"

 

Nihlus shrugged and grabbed the datapad he had been using for questions and typed the word at the bottom and handed it to her. "Going to use the word itself to make your new phrase?"

 

"If I can, yes." Tasia chewed on her lip, drinking in the word Nihlus had spelled out for her. She hummed in thanks when a plate of food appeared in front of her, setting it on her lap as she mentally played with the letters and their arrangement. It needed to be short and easy to say, but still be connected back to the original word. Something that sounded sharp maybe? 

 

No, that would make it seem like a command, but she didn't want it easily ignored either. She paused, a strip of salted meat in her fingers. "Nihlus? Rix? How does Situ sound to you both?"

 

Rix trilled in question, pausing in his own meal. "Situ? Not sure what you're going for, but it's easy to say and fast. The second part draws attention to it. Why?"

 

"Because she's looking for a word to describe the feeling she gets from her  _ Spirasitus _ . I think it works for what you're trying to do. Subtle, but makes you pay attention to what's being said?" Nihlus barely paused in his meal, chest thrumming in pleasure as he ate.

 

"That's exactly what I was hoping for." Tasia bit off a chunk of her own meat, chewing slowly as she thought. It would make sense, and it did ring back to the original word in a fashion. Yes, It would do. "I think I'm going with it. Hopefully, I won't have to use it for a while, but it's best to be prepared." Tasia finished off the strip, almost pouting when she realized her meal was gone. "Guess that means I should get back to work. Lovely."

 

Nihlus grabbed the now empty plate from her, pressing his shoulder to hers with a soft trill. "Take your time. We have something to start with, so you don't need to rush into it. Only when you're ready."

  
"If I waited until I was ready, then this would never get done. Thanks for the thought though." Tasia offered a small smile to the  _ torin _ , pressing into the shoulder against hers briefly before going to get the recordings. The sooner she got this done, the sooner they could move on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll update the words in the morning because I need to get up early. But thank you all for reading! Let me know what you think. Only a few more chapters and we actually get into some action again! Things also may start slowing down soon, due to RL issues. I have up to chapter 9 written, and part of 10 done as well. I do, however, have a couple of things set to go into ME Madness. So if nothing else, you have those to look forward to as well.


	6. Mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the credit to MizDirected for the use of her Turian Cultural Info and Dictionary!
> 
> GLOSSARY:
> 
> Torin -- Torini plural. Female turian of the age of majority (15)  
> Patrem -- Father (Familiar form Pari equivalent to dad)  
> Matrula -- Mother (Familiar form Mari equivalent to mom)  
> Puer -- Puerin plural. Child.

It had taken another day to go through everything Tasia had already seen as well answer the remaining questions the two  _ torini _ had written out for her. Her second look through the recordings hadn't yielded much information aside from confirming what she'd already told the Spectres. Still, it was better to have confirmation than nothing at all. She could only hope that it had been enough to get something to go off of.

 

Tasia set the datapad in her hand aside, lips pressed together and brow furrowed. Something had been bothering her since she'd actively began looking into the recordings. Even if the two separated, they wouldn't be able to pull off what they needed to do. They'd had to commandeer this ship just to deal with her own cell, but that was because they had planned to bring them back to the Council, and eventually, the Alliance Embassy so they could go home.

 

Tasia swallowed, already knowing what she'd have to do and dreading bringing the subject up. She knew the  _ torini _ were going to hate the idea and refuse it outright, but what if it really was their best chance?

 

"You're thinking too hard again. You've given us plenty to work with, you don't need to be so upset that you're not finding more."

 

Tasia lifted her head and gave Rix a weak smile while taking the offered ration. She fiddled with it without opening it, unable to keep her eyes on the torin for long. "That's not what has me thinking specifically, but I suppose it is part of it."

 

Rix chuffed, tapping the ration in her hands with a talon. "That's for eating, not playing. You've hardly touched your food since you started looking at the recordings again, and don't think we haven't noticed you not sleeping either." After a moment, he sighed and took a seat beside Tasia. "What's got you acting like someone took the last of your favorite  _ Cisera _ blend?"

 

Tasia shook her head, picking the wrapping off the ration and breaking off a piece of it. "Something you're definitely going to hate, but something that shouldn't be talked about unless you're sure nobody could be listening in."

 

Rix sat up, brow plates lowering and mandibles pinched to his face. "Give me a moment to get Nihlus in here, as well as set up a jammer and we can discuss whatever it is that's been bothering you. I expect that ration to be gone by the time I'm back as well."

 

Tasia made a face but nodded as the Spectre stood and began to walk away. "Fine, but you could have grabbed something that didn't smell like that roadkill drink you all love!" Tasia gave the ration a look of distaste, shuddering before forcing herself to eat. While it wasn't nearly as bad as the  _ Puala _ drink Variso had brought her once as a treat, it was still horrible. Tasia had been properly horrified that she'd spurned the drink, but it came down to just being something they couldn't avoid. While the drink was a favorite of Turians, it was quite the opposite with humans. They'd gone as far as trying the fruit itself and it had been even worse. After the whole debacle, Tasia had made a joke of no Turian ever having to fear her trying to steal it, which had broken some of the tension. Variso, however, had been determined to find something that could be used as a bribe or treat ever since. It hadn't taken long for Variso to discover something to treat her with either. It turned out that Tasia was quite partial to a specific blend of  _ Cisera _ . Partial enough to scrape the cup clean with her fingers to get everything she could from it.

 

She lifted her head when she heard the door open again, noting the almost severe expression the  _ torini _ had. At least she knew she was going to be taken seriously before they shot her idea down. She opened her mouth to speak but quickly shut it when Nihlus raised a hand. Tasia watched curiously as the carmine plated Spectre pulled a dodecahedron device from the armor of his thigh, tapping at several of its sides. She cringed and shook her head hard to try and dislodge the buzzing in her head.

 

"You'll get used to it. Ignore the buzzing as best you can." Nihlus deposited the tool on the arm of one of the nearby chairs but didn't turn to face her at first. His eyes closed, and his hands flexed at his sides, breathing slow and deliberate. When he finally turned toward her, it was to see the Spectre she'd first met again. The cold and almost mocking  _ torin _ that flicked her tears from his talons and only saw her as a tool. "You told Rix you had an idea, and that it would require being in a secured location. This room is now secure."

 

Tasia swallowed, glancing at Rix and seeing the same cold expression on his face. They were terrifying, and the past few days had made her forget exactly what they were. Gone were the  _ torini _ she'd befriended, and in their place stood the Spectres that would do whatever it took to ensure the safety of the Galaxy.

 

Tasia blew out a breath, cracking her knuckles and wetting her lips with her tongue. Best not keep them waiting any longer. "From what I've seen, it's likely you're going to have to pull at least one other Spectre, possibly another team like yourselves, to bring down the Projects like mine. You're going to have to do it soon because the longer this Project is dark, the lower the chance of success gets. I'm not sure what you have been able to uncover yet, but, since you aren't moving on it, I would guess that it's less than you'd prefer."

 

Tasia leaned on her knees, taking another steadying breath before continuing. "When you move, you'll have to hit two targets simultaneously. You won't be able to hit it like you hit the Talon Project, mainly because they have had more time and may have been able to program the humans that have signed up into sleepers. What you need is someone inside that they will at least keep around, if not cautiously trust."

 

"No. Absolutely not. You were not trained for something like this Tasia." Nihlus straightened, turning to face Rix better. "Did you put her up to this?"

 

"Enough Nihlus! He had nothing to do with the idea, and you know it. If he had known my idea, he would have warned you or just agreed without telling you to sell it better." Tasia stood, stalking toward the dark torin. "As for not being trained, I think you'll find I'm the best option. You're just Turians after all, so I doubt you'd understand that something like this would need a more delicate approach." Tasia hated herself as her face contorted into a sneer, eyes darting over the torini before scoffing. "No, you'd think a bullet could solve your problems for you. That, or a nice big bomb with a satisfying explosion to eliminate all your problems."

 

Tasia laughed as Nihlus snarled, relaxing her posture as she watched the infuriated male. "Awww. Am I making you angry? That's adorable." Tasia giggled, lips curled into a cruel smile that exposed her teeth. "Poor, poor Nihlus. So desperate to think of something better that he's allowing a tiny human rile him up. I thought you would have known better-than-."

 

"Enough. You've proven your point, Tasia." Rix had his hand on the back of Nihlus' cowl, keeping the snarling male from doing something he'd regret. "Nihlus, calm yourself. That reaction is exactly what she was aiming for with her little act."

 

"An act? You call that an act!" Nihlus swat at the hand on his cowl, growling furiously from both voices.

 

"I do. Nihlus, stop thinking with your emotions for a moment and use your head. She's essentially been trained for us concerning this mission she's suggesting." Rix gently tugged on Nihlus' cowl, a comforting hum coating his words. "She knows how they think. How they act. She and her friends all managed to get a message out to us, not once but twice, while being watched. The second attempt may have caused one of them to be caught, but they were not deterred. How many times has she stated that she does this to protect those like her? To shield those that they would be used against? Nihlus, we both know how the recordings affected her, and yet she picked through them for even the tiniest amount of information that could help us. That alone should be enough for you to recognize the act for what it was."

 

Tasia wanted so much to take back everything she'd said, but she couldn't. The knowledge that she may have ruined her friendship with Nihlus just to prove a point made her sick. Even if the point needed to be made, she should have found another way to do it. "Nihlus?" She flinched as furious emerald orbs focused on her again, effectively withering under his gaze. Her mouth opened but nothing came out. What was she going to say, she's sorry? No, that would do nothing but make things worse. Her mouth closed with a click, closing her eyes and turning away.

 

There was a flurry of clicks and trills behind her, letting her know the  _ torini _ had turned off their translators to have their argument in some semblance of privacy. She swiped at the tears clinging to her lashes furiously, smearing the cool liquid over her skin. She'd proven, once again, that she was a stupid and impulsive fool. She'd gotten Korra killed, and now she'd ruined a friendship she'd come to cherish. All because she had acted without thinking.

 

Tasia cringed when the hum stopped, biting her lip hard at the almost feral snarl behind her. A single set of booted talons marched for the door, and if the door could have been slammed, it would have been. She had no doubt about it. She swiped at her eyes again, trying desperately to keep her composure. "I'd ask how badly I fucked up, but something tells me I don't want to know."

 

"You don't."

 

Great, even Rix was pissed with her. Should she just cut her ties with Variso as well to complete the whole set? "I figured as much. Guess I still need to learn to think before I speak." This time her hands rubbed at her cheeks, smearing the trails her slowly falling tears had left. "I'm an idiot."

 

"Also true." A heavy hand fell onto her shoulder, squeezing tightly. "You'll learn to curb that one way or another. If you're accepted as a ward of the Hierarchy it will be stamped out of you, so I advise you learn to control it now. You don't want to know what your CO will do to fix you."

 

"At this rate, I don't think I will be able to learn. Getting my friends killed didn't teach me, what makes you think this will?" Tasia laughed bitterly, lifting her head to meet the Spectres gaze as best she could. She could only meet his eyes for a heartbeat before she couldn't stand it and lowered her eyes again. "I don't think there will be any fixing it this time. No matter how much I wish I could."

 

Rix crooned soothingly, giving her shoulder a gentle shake. "Just give him time and some space. It will all work out."

 

Tasia bit back her snarky retort, dropping her hands to her sides when they went to swipe at her eyes again. It wouldn't do any good now anyway. "Maybe, maybe not. Time will tell, but we both know it won't ever be the same."

 

Rix sighed and pulled Tasia close, ignoring the squeak of surprise as he hugged her. Of the two Spectre's, he had always made sure to stay back and keep some kind of distance. They may have given each other permission for more familiar forms of address, but little more. "It won't be the same, but it's up to you both to make it something worth keeping. You connected with him faster, and in ways I haven't seen before. Within days he was compromised, and it fell to me to keep a level head. I don't regret the decision to befriend you, and I know he won't either, but you hurt him badly. Spirits Tasia, I don't think there's really a word to describe just how hurt he was."

 

Tasia couldn't stop the sob this time, her face pressed against the cool ceramic of white armor and fingers curling around the edges. "I should have just kept my mouth shut. Should never have suggested this. I'm such an idiot!"

 

"No Tasia, you were right to bring this idea to us. What we have isn't enough, and your plan is a good one. Yes, you could have presented it better, but it's done. It'll be alright, Tasia. We will get through this." Rix threaded his talons through her hair, gently massaging the back of her head.

 

How long they stood there like that neither of them knew, or cared to find out. By the end, Tasia felt numb but also more clear headed. Granted, she still hated herself for pulling the stunt she had, but what was done was done. She would repair the bridge with Nihlus only if he allowed it. If he would rather cut all ties with her, it wouldn't be unexpected. She pulled back, chuckling at the mess she'd made on the ceramic. "I'm going to have to learn how you like to have your armor cleaned at this rate." Talking about armor was a safe subject, right? She was desperate for anything to get her mind off of how she'd screwed up her relationship with Nihlus. 

 

Rix chuffed, releasing Tasia and determinedly not looking at his armor. "It would seem so. For now, just a rag to clean it should work well enough. Anything really."

 

Tasia shook her head and managed to find some tissues that she could use to clean the mess she'd made of the ceramic covering the Spectre's keel. She carefully cleaned the surface, making sure to get into corners and overlapping plates meant for movement. "Your armor is different than the armor we used to practice on. Covers more, but still has overlaps for movement. I'm going to assume a lot of it has to do with the fact that it's Spectre grade?"

 

"Yes and no. Ranking in the Hierarchy as well as what branch of the military you're in also plays a role. It will also depend on the weight class of armor. Most Turians use medium armor, simply because it gives an equal amount of protection, and doesn't compromise mobility as much as heavy armor. If you're carrying around a small armory on your back, having light armor would help, but then you run into the argument that you have less protection." Rix shook his head, growling in exasperation. "Then you have others that will argue that those that have said armory on their back don't need to have that much armor. It's a never-ending cycle of arguments, and it will eventually come down to personal preference. Much of it will be determined by just what weapons you are proficient with."

 

"I see." Tasia tossed the soiled tissue into a nearby can, frowning thoughtfully. "I have passing proficiency in various classes of weaponry, but I tend to prefer a Sniper Rifle, AR and Heavy Pistol. Occasionally I carry a shotgun, but they are definitely not my preferred weapon. I like the lighter armors, simply because it allows me to establish a nest faster, but I know the argument for medium armor well. It's a little bit harder to do the things I need to do, but I have a higher chance of actually surviving if my shields go down. I can't tell you how many times my instructors would argue that it could be circumvented with mods, but it's preference like you said. It's the same argument with long hair and short hair."

 

Rix tugged on a strand of her hair, head tilted curiously. "Your people have arguments over your fringe? Why?"

 

"Unfortunately." Tasia gently swat the hand away from her hair, rolling her eyes at the chuckle it earned. She pulled a strand forward, frowning at the dull brown coloring. Her hair had once held an auburn hue that held a little wave where it draped over her shoulders but now was a lanky, tootsie roll brown. She hated it. "When you spar, do you wear loose clothing or tight clothing?"

 

"Tight. Wearing anything loose offers a handhold." Rix tilted his head, humming in understanding. "That's what the argument on your fringe is about?"

 

"Yup! If it's short, it can't be pulled back into a bun which is regulation for most military branches. Then again, if it's long it can come out of whatever you have held it up with and cause an even bigger problem. Blocked eyesight and an easy handhold are just two of the many arguments against it. Might as well shave our heads and go bald, but we can't do that because hair helps regulate body temperature." Tasia rolled her eyes, flicking the strand behind her ear and blowing a few strands out of her face. "I would much rather have a Turian’s crest and fringe."

 

Rix laughed, tapping his fringe with his talons. "It would be much easier to maintain at least, but it has its own problems. Just like our hides, the fringe needs to be carefully maintained and oiled or they will become brittle. The edges are filed to remove any chips and cracks, but they also need to be dulled and shaped with care. We wouldn't want to accidentally bleed any of our allies."

 

"Or lovers, unless the thrill of possibly getting cut is something you enjoy of course." Tasia felt her face heating but ignored it for now. "Dumb and probably very personal question, but are your crests something used to determine partners? I would imagine so since they tend to be shaped somewhat differently depending on the person."

 

Rix chuckled, inclining his head slightly. "Very good. And you're hardly blushing and no stammering at all. Much better than before. Yes, how we maintain our crests is also how we attract partners. There are different ornaments we can thread or clip to it that creates a more appealing look. Many familia notas also extend up into the crest for that purpose." Rix tapped the hard ridge of his cowl, tilting his head proudly. "Our cowl is also taken into consideration. A deep cowl will provide the best protection for our  _ puerin _ until they grow enough plating to be exposed to our sun’s radiation."

 

"Makes sense. Ornamentation and the quality of your crest would show your ability to care for your future family, while the cowl would show you'd be a better choice of siring a child." Now that she had the information, she couldn't help but give the Spectre a more critical look, which earned her a knowing look in return. While he was a striking figure, his crest wasn't what she would have expected. Thick ridges framed his head, and a handful of spines extended from the center of his scalp. His armor hid much of his cowl, but shifting slightly to the side, she could see that it actually came up a fair distance up against his neck and head.

 

Rix's mandibles fluttered, and he almost seemed to preen under the attention he'd been receiving. "My turn. What human rituals are used to decide on mates?" 

 

Tasia snorted but didn't flush this time. It may have helped that he didn't call her out for looking, and even seemed to be encouraging it. "There really isn't anything we do. There's dating, which is pretty much spending time with a prospective partner one on one. Much of our choosing is based on appearance at first, some may look at their general attitude and listen to gossip about their past relationships. For me, I don't really give a damn about what you look like, or what parts you have, it's all about the attitude toward others. Centuries ago, there was a whole lot of etiquette and rules around getting to know a prospective mate, though the woman may have little to no input to it."

 

"You really have nothing to help you decide what would make a good mate? A good  _ patrem _ or  _ matrula _ ?"

 

"Well, not really. Some cultures might, but the way I was raised didn't have much in the way of structure. The only real rules I would have had, I've already broken with Max. It was the belief of my family that we should share our bodies only with the one we would wed. I appreciate the sentiment of it, but at the same time disagree. Not knowing your own body could be hazardous, simply because you won't know it's limitations or even what to watch for. The fact that even talking about sex is taboo, and most kids learn about it through the ExtraNet reading fiction and the like makes things worse." Tasia could feel heat crawling up her throat and into her cheeks again, but refused to acknowledge it. "Add in rampaging hormones, and people that are never taught how to curb their urges or even encouraged to act on them? It's a giant mess. Personally, I think the old structure with a more modern twist is best."

 

"All races deal with hormones in their own way, and it is often messy as you said." Rix snorted, flicking his talons and mandibles in a dismissive gesture. "I'm curious about what you meant by old structure?"

 

Tasia hummed and tilted her head back, trying to find the words to explain her thoughts. "It'll be a bit hard to explain, so stop me if something doesn't translate right." She waited for him to acknowledge the request, using the moment to gather her thoughts. "Preferably, it would be someone that knows me well and I would consider a trusted friend. We would find out if the interest was mutual, and if it was, discuss what we would want to come from the courting. Are we looking for a more physical relationship, or are we wanting to think about something more permanent? If we were looking for something permanent, he would approach my family for permission, and introduce me to his own so we could establish trust and rapport with the families we would be entering into. From there, we'd get to know each other on a more personal level, one on one. Kinda like dating as it is now, but instead of just going out for food or movies, we'd do things we find enjoyable and maybe try new things together. It would focus more on learning about each other as a person and not physical intimacy for a while."

 

Tasia's lips curled into a tender smile, losing herself a little as she explained. "In time, we'd sit to talk about if we want to take things further or if we were better apart. If we decide to progress the relationship to marriage, we'd decide when it would be best to think about children or if children were even in the picture. I'm not a fan of pomp and circumstance, so any ceremony would only have close family and friends if it was at all possible would be ideal for me." She shook her head, ducking her head as her cheeks flushed. "Sorry. Kinda went off a little there, didn't I?"

 

"Maybe a little, but it was informative in its own way." Rix gently tapped under her chin, lifting it gently. "You were practically glowing when you spoke of children. A soft spot of yours?"

 

Tasia bit her lip but nodded, hesitation before elaborating a little. "Yeah. I've always been fond of them. I tend to melt the second someone puts a baby in front of me and ignore everything else until they're taken from me."

 

Rix hummed, mandibles spread in a relaxed smile as he nodded. "You'll make a good  _ matrula _ one day. Perhaps in time, you will be a capable teacher, if that is something you wish to pursue. Your career, if the Hierarchy takes you in, will be one I will watch closely." He lowered his hand, turning towards the doors as they opened again. A surprised rumble left his chest, mandibles flicking before pulling in tight to his jaw.

 

Tasia flushed at the praise, feeling lighter than she had in weeks. "I'll make you both proud, Rix." At least, she hoped that she would. She hummed and turned toward the door, and the lightness she'd felt plummeted like a stone. "Nihlus..." 

 

The dark  _ torin _ looked almost resigned as he walked in, his eyes dull and tired. He hadn't been gone long, and yet it looked as though he'd aged considerably. He said nothing as he rejoined them, simply pulling out the device from before and reactivating it. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but when nothing came out, he simply closed it again and began to turn the device in his talons.

 

Tasia lightly touched the back of Rix's hand when he made to move forward, giving him a pleading look until he stepped back with a flick of his crest. She offered the  _ torin _ a grateful smile, moving to take the device from Nihlus' talons and set it aside for the moment. She slipped her hands into his, giving his fingers a gentle squeeze. For once, she was grateful that she only came to his shoulder, easily stepping into his line of sight to meet his gaze. "Nihlus, I was an idiot before, turning on you like that with no warning. I can't take it back no matter how much I want to, and I know that I hurt you." Tasia let out a shaky breath lowering her gaze and tightening her hold on the hands she held. "I'm sorry Nihlus. I'm so, so sorry."

 

Damnit, she wasn't going to start crying again. She'd done enough of that already, but she could feel her eyes burning with new tears. The longer the silence stretched, the more her eyes burned. She bit her lip hard, trying to focus on the pain it caused instead of the tightness in her chest and the sting in her eyes. A huff of air tousled her hair, fingers squeezing around hers as a chin dropped onto her head.

 

"We were both idiots this time." Nihlus clutched her hands tight, releasing a slow and measured breath. "I don't want you to do this, but I also understand it's our best chance. Countless lives depend on this operation going smoothly, and I still shot your idea down without bothering to listen."

 

Tasia chuckled, shaking her head slowly. "And I did a shit job at proposing it and then defending it. As it is, I'm somewhat doubtful that it will work as I intend. You're still going to need help hitting the one that I do not infiltrate."

 

"We'll figure it out." Nihlus stepped back, dropping her hands with a faint trill. "If we do need help, I have a few ideas on who we can contact. Let’s hear this plan of yours again."

 

Tasia shook her head but smiled, relieved to see that she had the opportunity to repair her relationship with the Spectre. This time, she laid her entire plan out to them, answering any questions they asked. It would be hours before they called a halt to the planning session so they could rest and eat before they were satisfied with the plan. Now they needed to wait for an opportunity to put it into motion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALMOST late once again, but it's only 11 my time so it's still Tuesday!! Hopefully, everyone likes this one. Things are going to start picking up fast soon! 6 chapters and very little action... How is this a Mass Effect fic? As always, let me know what you think below! I really appreciate the feedback. See you in two weeks!


	7. What Keeps You Going

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, it's the little things that keep us going.

Three days. It had taken three days of near-constant planning and instruction, but it was done. They only had to wait for a comm, and when it finally came in, there would be no turning back. Tasia wasn't sure who exactly they'd pulled in to assist, having had no contact with the person herself, but that was perfectly fine with her. The less she knew, the better the act would be.

 

Tasia was carefully checking over the gear she'd been given, lips pressed together in annoyance. Granted, the Spectres couldn't have known she could be trusted with the equipment from her room, but it still annoyed her to no end. Her armor had been left alone for weeks without maintenance, something that was unacceptable in her mind. She'd already polished the scuffed surfaces and repaired the areas that had required it. She'd even tried it on and then immediately taken it off to fix things she hadn't caught the first time.

 

It felt good to have her armor back, even if the sigil on the chest made her ill. If she could have, she would have had the stupid thing filled in and painted over, but she couldn't. Variso's reaction to seeing her in the armor had been priceless. The  _ tarin _ had gone off on the  _ torini _ , verbally stripping their plates from their hides in her irritation.

 

Tasia's smile slid from her face after a moment, staring at the white and black armor she held in her hands. Variso hadn't said anything, but the calculating looks she'd given them said plenty. She knew something was going to happen, and she did not approve. She'd been reluctant to give Tasia a clean bill of health, but she hadn't been given much of a choice since Tasia was physically healed from what she'd been through. She wasn't quite there mentally, but there was nothing they could do about it right now.

 

"Having second thoughts?"

 

Tasia snorted, raising her head to give Rix a tired smile. "Not at all. I was just thinking is all. Variso..." Tasia sighed, setting aside the armor she'd been holding so she could focus her attention on the Spectre. "If anything, I'm worried about her. She knows something's up and she doesn't like it. I don't want you or Nihlus to have to make her disappear, but we obviously can't tell her anything. If anything, she's going to be key to pulling this off."

 

"Nihlus and I are working on something for her, don't worry. Worry about getting your part of this done convincingly." Rix crouched in front of her, picking up the armor she'd set aside and looking it over. "You have everything you need? Remember the codes?"

 

"Yes, I remember everything. I'm more nervous about fighting my way off this ship than anything else." Tasia frowned and took the piece of armor back, ignoring the  _ torins _ amused rumble. "You and Nihlus have gone over my armor a thousand times already. You could probably help me suit up blindfolded if you needed to, or give an armorer the specs they would need to create an entirely new set."

 

"True, and we are going to have to do the second once this is done anyway." Rix sobered a little, gently prodding her knee. "What's really worrying you? Don't give me some line about being nervous about the mission."

 

Tasia pulled away from the nudge, frowning at herself before she slouched. "I'm worried that talons might slip. I'm worried that I might have to actually kill to get out of here and make it believable. I don't want to give them more reason to hate my people than they already do. Variso didn't like me when I first met her but now we're at least on good terms. She's going to hate me. Hell, I already hate myself for what I'm about to do. I'm pretty much going to be giving every Turian on this ship a good reason to despise humanity. As if we hadn't already given you all good reasons to hate us."

 

"It needs to be done. There will be some that feel you have validated their stance on your race, but there will be others that won't believe it as well. Variso will be one of them. She's been quite insistent that Nihlus and I bring you back in good condition." Rix pulled his mandibles tight to his face, brow plates furrowing in a grimace. "I never would have thought the  _ tarin _ capable of some of the things she's said."

 

"Never doubt a Medical Officer. They will make your life a living hell, and do it with a smile on their face." Tasia smirked, pulling herself up from her slouch. "My friends will have to wait a little longer to be put to rest. I'm hoping you've already sent their bodies to an Alliance station, or have them in stasis pods to keep them from decomposing before you can release them."

 

"The latter option. It's a risk that we cannot take."

 

Tasia nodded, chewing on her lower lip once again. Soon. They will be able to go home soon. "At least their families will find some peace. It must have been hell, not knowing what happened to us."

 

Rix hummed, subvocals questioning. "And yours? If you go through with what you want after this, they may never find peace."

 

Tasia growled at the Spectre, lips pulled back in a brief show of teeth. "Most will be glad that I cannot disgrace the family with my biotics any longer, and the rest will assume that something from the Project I signed up for is preventing them from having a body. Just give them the tags that were in my room."

 

"Tasia..."

 

"Don't. Don't try to make me rethink this Rix. It's for their safety and my own that they think I'm dead. There's no guarantee that Cerberus isn't watching them for some kind of reaction that contradicts the story you're telling."

 

Rix sighed and shook his head, subvocals roiling with his displeasure over the idea. "We'll do what we can then. Is there anything else you would like them to have, or will we just be handing over the tags?"

 

Tasia shook her head, fingers wandering to her right wrist and stroking the skin over her Omni Tool. "Nothing like the tags. There were a few pictures of me and the others though. I don't know if that would just make things worse or not, but maybe seeing that I had been somewhat happy..."

 

"I'll make sure they receive them." Rix shifted, voice lowering and subvocals humming unease before they were silenced. "If nothing else, I would want to know that my own  _ puerin _ were happy more than anything else."

 

Tasia nodded, the corner of her mouth raising for a heartbeat before it fell again. It was something she would have wanted to know if she were ever in her parent's shoes. "Thanks, Rix."

 

The Spectre hummed but said nothing, shifting his wrist to glance at the orange screen of his Omni Tool. He flicked through programs, eventually coming to one that he typed a reply to and sending it.

 

"Well aren't you two lively today?" Nihlus plucked the forgotten armor piece from limp fingers, setting it with its brethren. "Everything is set, we just need the final piece to come into play. You ready for this?"

 

"Yes? No? Is anyone ever ready for what we are about to do?" Tasia squirmed, batting at the hand that was reaching for her hair. "Seriously though, I don't think I ever will be ready for this. Better just to do it and pray it works."

 

Nihlus chuckled but stopped reaching out to tousle her hair. "Not really. I'd be more concerned if you said that you were." He shrugged, mandibles flicking in wry amusement. "If it was anyone but you, they'd either be crumbling by now or so overconfident that they fuck up the entire op."

 

Tasia glared at the dark Spectre, growling when it made his mandibles spread into a grin. "You're an asshole, Kryik."

 

"I learned from the best, and so did Rix!" Nihlus was almost chirping, subvocals full of unspoken amusement. "And just think, if we hadn't been trained by the best, things might have gone differently."

 

Tasia groaned, dropping her face in her hands. They had never told her outright who their mentor had been, but she had the impression she was going to feel like an idiot once she figured it out. "Why do I get the feeling this is common knowledge that I really should know? You two have been dancing around this since I first woke up."

 

Both Spectre's chuckled, and Rix nudged her shoulder before standing. "Because it is. It's amusing that you don't know if I'm perfectly honest."

 

"Amusing? Try refreshing. It's nice, not having my actions compared to our  _ fahrtrix's _ for once." Nihlus trilled, posture relaxed even if his eyes had a smug light to them. "Then again, I imagine we will have to deal with him questioning our every decision after he reads the reports. Hate it when he does that."

 

"Nobody likes to be micromanaged." Tasia reluctantly raised her head from her hands, wagging a finger at the smug  _ torin _ . "I know what you're doing, and I'm grateful for it. Even if you're making me feel like an idiot."

 

Anything the  _ torin _ would have said died as a chirp sounded, all eyes drawn to Rix's glowing Omni Tool. She could feel eyes boring into her as she stared at the flashing light. Her mouth ran dry, and she was sure her face had paled. This was what they had been waiting on, why weren't they answering the comm? She licked her lips, taking a deep breath before raising her eyes to meet amber ones. "Well? What are you waiting for? Don't tell me you're the one backing out now." A brittle laugh escaped her throat, her mouth running dry. Heavens above, they were really going through with this.

 

Rix shared a glace with Nihlus and stood, moving away to answer the comm as black armor filled her vision. Talons rested on her shoulders, squeezing in an attempt at reassurance. "Don't fall apart on us now, Tasia. Spirits, I didn't know your skin could be this shade while you were still alive."

 

"You're supposed to say that I look like I've seen a ghost, Nihlus. Shame on you." That soft, barely audible thing was her voice? Maybe he was right to be a bit concerned. Her eyes darted around the room, looking for something, anything to distract herself with. She could hear Rix talking to whoever was on the other end, and it was only making her feel worse. "Nihlus? Don't stop talking. Please."

 

Nihlus crooned in concern, hands kneading at her shoulders. "I'll remember that for next time. I think human sayings are some of the hardest to understand. You have so many, and they mean the same thing, but so much depends on the context. Then there's the fact that they don't even make sense! Alright, the ghost one does make sense, at least a little, but even so! Why would you dare an enemy to give you their best shot? I hear it a lot in interrogations, and it's really annoying..."

 

Tasia felt the tension that had been building slowly slip out of her body, Nihlus' never-ending commentary on human idioms helping her more than he knew. They were really going to do this. Before it had just been a stupid idea but now it was so very real. She had only the basics of infiltration to lean on once everything kicked off. She wasn't sure how long she would be able to hold onto the facade she was going to build, but it would have to hold. There was no other option.

 

Tasia snorted when Nihlus started complaining about some of the more gross idioms, outright laughing when he playfully flicked her for the snort. He was downright whining now, though she was sure he was only playing it up to allow her the time she needed to get her head back on straight.

 

"Tasia, it's not funny! Why would anyone want to be anywhere near a creek full of excrement? Does something like that even exist? And why would having a paddle make it easier to navigate?" Nihlus blew out an exaggerated breath, looking down at her with an almost pleading expression. "Seriously, why would anyone come up with a saying like that? You have to explain it to me! I'm supposed to be a Spectre and try to be at least somewhat knowledgeable about the species I help protect!"

 

"And with humans being the new kids on the block, you need to catch up on hundreds of years of things we've made up out of sheer boredom." Tasia cackled at the dramatic groan Nihlus released, patting his mandible gently. "Poor Nihlus, having to figure out what all these different sayings mean, and how they came about. How's it feel, knowing that most of them are born from sheer boredom?

 

"I hate you, Tasia. I hate you so much."

 

"Revenge is a dish best served cold, dear Spectre, and it tastes so very sweet." She took the swat to the back of her head with a grin, shoving at the armored keel in front of her. "Don't you worry, you'll get the hang of it sooner or later. If nothing else, you can always look up what the saying means. Or, you know, ask your local human. Then again, asking someone you're not familiar with will result in much laughter for the said human. Hell, I'd laugh at you before explaining what the idiom means. You'd do the same if the roles were reversed, and you know it."

 

"That's it. You are no longer my favorite human." Nihlus threw his hands into the air, tilting his head back to look mournfully at the bulkhead above him. "Why, Spirits, have you abandoned me to this torment?"

 

"Because they know you love it, don't bother denying it." Tasia dabbed at her eyes, wiping away non-existent tears. "I needed that. Thanks, Nihlus."

 

Ceramic armor clanked as he dropped his hands, worry saturating his subvocals as he spoke. "Anytime. You sure you're going to be alright doing this? Nobody would think poorly of you if you needed more time after all that's happened to you."

 

"Nobody but me. There are others out there that are going through everything I went through right now, and I can't ignore that. I haven't exactly had the time to manage it all mentally, and I'm going to regret it when it all crashes down later, but we simply don't have the luxury of time. I don't think we ever will." Tasia tilted her head, biting her lip in thought. No, there really wouldn't be time to think about it, or even work through the emotions. They were going straight from this op to her possibly becoming a ward of the Turian Hierarchy. There would never be time to let things sink in. "How do you do it Nihlus? Shit like this... You deal with more of it than anyone else would. How do you keep going?"

 

Nihlus hesitated, his weight shifting and mandibles tight to his face. She opened her mouth to tell him to ignore her but quickly shut it when he held up a hand. He sank back into his chair, gaze haunted as he absently touched the armor covering his keel. "We don't. Not really. For some, they find solace in drink and sex. For others, they simply bury themselves in work. Spectre's have a short life expectancy even though the Council makes sure we have the best resources available with the limited funds they can offer us. Tech, weapons, ships, you name it. It's why so many never bond with those outside the Spectres, let alone within it. Letting others in, knowing we could never tell them anything about what we've done or seen?" He shook his head, closing his eyes with a pained trill. "I've seen others try, and it nearly killed them. Avitus, our  _ fahrtrix _ and I are abnormally close. Avitus has been doing this for nearly fifteen years, and  _ fahrtrix _ even longer. I've only been in this for a few years myself."

 

He tapped his talons on his armor, gaze still haunted, but now unseeing. "While your situation is abnormal, it's not entirely unique. It's a mash of things that I have seen before in my work as a Spectre, and things I'll see again. Not everything is just fighting slavers and blowing things up. Thanks to movies like Blasto, so many think that they understand what it's like to be a Spectre but they have no idea. The sleepless nights, the nightmares when we can sleep. Food tastes like ash, and yet you have to force yourself to keep eating it when all you want to do is throw it aside." He blinked, haunted gaze lifting to meet her remorseful one. "You asked how I deal with it, and the fact is, I don't. I don't think any of us really do. We find comfort for a while in the arms of another or in a bottle, but we never deal with the things we see." 

 

His mandibles flicked, dropping his gaze to his talons again. "When things get really bad, I try to focus on the good I've done. I can't go into details, but I happened to be at a colony that came under attack by batarians shortly after my training was complete. They say there's no such thing as a Turian civilian for a reason, but there are always exceptions. There was a  _ tarin _ , barely older than you I think, running from the fighting while I was running toward it. A shot clipped her cheek, another went through her stomach. I went to pull her into cover, and she shoved something I hadn't seen her carrying into my arms as I dragged her. She told me two names, but before she could say anything else, there was another shot and cobalt blood exploded from her and onto the thing that she'd given to me. Instead of joining the fighting, I ran. I ran until I couldn't run anymore and then I hid until it was over." 

 

He flexed his fingers, lost in the memory with a sad smile. "She'd given me her  _ pueriti _ . It couldn't have been more than a cycle old, and only had just enough plating that it could be outside for small periods of time. When things get bad, I think about that  _ pueriti _ . The brown hide and the grey plating that was still soft to the touch. The little face splattered with the cobalt blood of their  _ matrula _ , looking at me with curiosity in their eyes the color of gold. I remember their talons on my mandibles, batting at my _ familia notas _ and giggling. The way they curled into my cowl to sleep even as the fighting raged outside. When it all ended, I looked up the names given to me. One was the  _ pueriti's _ , the other their  _ patrem's _ . The little one only started to cry when their  _ patrem _ held them and wept for the loss of his bonded. I check in on them from time to time, though they never know it."

 

"Nihlus..." Tasia reached for one of his hands, squeezing it even as her heart ached. She never would have guessed that the snarky, playful Spectre was this haunted by things he'd seen and done. She should have known better than to ask, but at the same time, she was glad she had. "Thank you. For trusting me with that." She forced herself to relax as his hand held her own like a vice, running her thumb over his talons. "I am sorry that I asked something like that of you, but I'm also grateful I did. Having a memory like that to turn to? I can't imagine it, but I'm glad it keeps you going, and that you were willing to tell me what you could."

 

She didn't release his hand when she heard Rix returning, purposefully making each step louder than it should be. She looked up at the Spectre, giving him an apologetic smile that he waved away. He sat and pressed his shoulder into Nihlus', a low and supportive thrum coming from his chest.

 

They sat like that for several minutes, giving Nihlus time to box the memories away. They didn't dare disturb the quiet, even though the buzzing in the background they'd been able to ignore before was becoming more irritating. With one last squeeze, he released her hand and nudged against the other  _ torin _ , voice only slightly strained. "Everything ready to go Avitus?"

 

"It is. We will need to leave in a couple  _ ohran's _ ."

 

Nihlus hummed in acknowledgment, mandibles still close to his face, but not pressed tight against his jaw anymore. "Then we had best do one last check of everything. We don't want all our planning to go to waste."

  
Tasia groaned, knowing they were going to quiz her on how she was going to escape and how to make sure she'd leave a trail for them to follow. If she had her math right, she only had to endure this for a maximum of 2 hours, give or take a few minutes. Despite the  _ torini _ trying to help her fill in the gaps of her knowledge, figuring out the time differences was frustrating. She knew their hours were shorter, but their days were longer. So were their years. Getting used to the change was something they'd been working on for the past couple of weeks, but there wasn't much to show for it. She shied away from another nudge to her knee, focusing on the present again. These two were slippery as hell, and not paying attention would cost her dearly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALMOST late. Not quite though! Was busy trying to write chapter 10 all night >.> Got distracted. But 2 weeks. 2 MORE WEEKS GUYS. YOU'RE GOING TO GET YOUR ACTION, I SWEAR IT! It'll settle down immediately after, but there will be more. I PROMISE YOU GUYS, THERE WILL BE FIGHTING IN THIS STORY. Just not much right now. Certain things have to happen before we get into the Really Good Stuff. Let me know what you think, as always! Cya in 2 weeks!


	8. Chapter 8

Tasia flicked the last clasp on her armor into place, lips pressed together as the sound echoed in the otherwise empty room. She twisted and tugged at the ceramic, even though she knew everything was in place. The only thing she had yet to don was her helmet. She lifted it carefully, gloved fingers tracing the orange symbol on the white ceramic. One more time. Just one. She slowly exhaled, fogging up the tinted visor as she pressed her forehead to the symbol. "One more time guys. One more mission, and then I'll watch this thing burn and write your  _ Mallupean _ with the ashes."

 

Tasia lifted her forehead from the ceramic, flicking the catches that would hide beneath her jaw and slid the helmet into place. With it latched securely in place, she watched the inside of the visor light up with notifications. She dismissed most of them, only keeping the display for shield and armor integrity in her peripheral vision. She had no need for the built-in targeting assistant or the program that would tell friend from foe.

 

She tapped the armor on her left thigh, a dark smile on her covered face when she heard the slight tap of a credit chit hitting the ceramic. The  _ torini _ had said they left her with some credits, but the confirmation of it put her at ease somewhat. All she had to do now was wait. Not that she'd have to wait long. Variso was due to check in on her anytime now. Since the Spectres couldn't take her with them for obvious reasons, it was decided to leave her in Variso's care. It would also be the best way for her to stage her escape. Variso had grown comfortable with her, and others were still too guarded. Plus, Variso already suspected something was up, so it only made sense to use that information to their advantage.

 

Tasia hummed when she heard the door slide open, a silver nimbus licking at her armor as she turned to face the  _ tarin _ that entered. "Hello,  _ Quirte _ Variso. I do hope you're going to be smart about this and not force me to hurt you."

 

The  _ tarin _ sighed, mandibles flicking into a slight smile. "I don't plan to fight you, Tasia. Not after all the effort I put into keeping you alive."

 

"A wise decision on your part. I'm sure you know what comes next?" Tasia let the nimbus around her die down but didn't completely release the energy. She didn't know when she would be needing it next after all.

 

"Of course. Come." Variso tilted her head toward the opening before turning away from the armored human.

 

Tasia bit her lip as she followed Variso, forcing herself to focus. She couldn't think about the fact that Variso trusted her at her back. She could think about that later, right now, she needed to focus on what was going on in front of her. She paused when Variso led her to what looked to be an observation room, eyes darting to the overflowing desk on the far wall and the monitors above it. There were more counters and various medical equipment along the other walls, but Variso went straight to the overflowing desk before turning and gesturing impatiently. 

 

"Well come on. What you want is in the third drawer here. Just go ahead and take everything in there actually. You'll need it more than we do." Variso hummed, tilting her head and squinting in thought. "I think everything you need is in there anyway. No, I'm pretty sure it is, so long as the others have kept out of it, which they should have if they value their plates."

 

Tasia swallowed a chuckle, amused at the almost scatterbrained disposition. Variso had never struck her as someone that could be easily flustered, so seeing her like this was more amusing than it should have been. She opened the drawer the  _ tarin _ had mentioned, unable to help the slight hitch in her breath at what she saw. She carefully pulled out the Brawler I pistol from the drawer, running her fingers over the side of it before shaking herself and placing it on the magnetic mount on her right thigh. There was some extra ammunition, a couple of packs of Medi-Gel, and credit chits in the drawer that vanished into the compartment on her left thigh before she turned back to the  _ tarin _ .

 

"I know I shouldn't ask this of you, but promise me you're going to take care of yourself out there Tasia." Variso's mandibles flicked with worry, moving as if she wanted to rest a hand on an armored shoulder before she stopped herself and shook her head. "Nevermind. Do what you need to do. Spirits guide your path."

 

Tasia forced herself to move, shoving aside the cold dread in favor of pulling her new pistol from her hip and giving herself a slight boost with her biotics as she jumped. She brought the butt of her weapon down on the  _ tarin's _ skull, just behind her aural canal. The subvocal thrum of shock was nearly swallowed by the sharp crack of metal meeting hide covered bone and the gasp of pain. Tasia caught the  _ tarin _ as she crumpled in a biotic field, carefully lowering her to the floor as she swallowed back bile. A brief press of fingers to the  _ tarin's _ neck helped her roiling stomach, the pulse strong enough to feel despite her gloves. Not that a blow like that would have killed outright anyway. She knew she needed to leave before others tried to check on the  _ tarin _ , but she couldn't move. Her eyes were caught on the cobalt blood beading from a tear in the hide, and her stomach rolled anew before she tore her gaze away.

 

Tasia blinked the tears from her lashes, pushing the image from her mind as best she could as her eyes scanned the walls for a vent. She found one partially obstructed by one of the many carts of supplies, but it was easily uncovered. She cringed as the cart squealed in protest, slipping the pistol back into place and kneeling at the vents cover when it was fully exposed. The one good thing about her being a human was the fact that she would fit and be able to travel easily through the vent system. She just needed to be sure not to take a tumble down any shafts.

 

The cover came away from the vent with a whine of protest, and she flicked the light on her helmet on before wriggling her way into the space. She twisted, silver light licking along her armor as she used biotics to pull the cart back into place. It flickered out, leaving only the dim light from her helmet as she looked back the way she came. Tasia hesitated, rocking on her elbows and knees in indecision before sighing. "I'll do my best Variso. Thank you." Even though Variso had no chance of hearing the words whispered in the dark, it dulled the ache in her chest. If it only alleviated one regret, it would be enough.

 

Tasia pushed herself forward, careful not to drag the ceramic armor against the metal walls. She was quite proud of the fact that she only whimpered once before she slid down one level, using pressure on her forearms and feet to keep from falling all the way to the bottom. She glanced at her Omni-Tool when she was safely in the next passageway, flicking through programs until she pulled up the ship's schematics. She rotated the image and scrolled to the area she thought she was, dismissing the screen after she plotted her path. She had to be especially careful as she ascended another shaft, echoes of laughter and conversation growing louder as she passed over crew quarters and mess.

 

It was only going to get harder from this point on. Tasia gagged as she smelled the fruit Variso had tried feeding her, the desire to stop and seal her armor to keep the stench out nearly overwhelming. If it wasn't for the desire to get away from that stench, she might have felt more than a distant pang of hunger. Weeks of inactivity had weakened her greatly, and the use of biotics meant that she was using more energy than she had grown accustomed to. Her muscles sobbed in protest as she slid down another shaft, taking a sharp turn and sliding down a second one after only a few minutes of exploring.

 

Tasia barely stifled a shriek when her legs gave out, slipping off the walls while her head and shoulders were inside the next duct, her body dangling and heart in her throat from fear. She kicked desperately at the walls, trying to get enough pressure to propel herself out of danger. Her feet managed to catch on the walls, and she shuffled her way into the duct, sobbing with relief as she pulled herself out of danger. She scratched at the clasps of her helmet, thoughts of stealth vanishing as she ripped the thing off and gasped for air.

 

Dear God, that had been too close. She was sure someone out there could hear the terrified beating of her heart and her nearly wild gasps for air as she tried to breathe through the lump in her throat. She should have listened when Nihlus had offered to go through the armor the Turians had pilfered from her base for a set of boots with magnetics built in. He'd said it was fairly standard for an Infiltrator, which she definitely was not. Looking back, thinking her biotics could easily help her manage had been idiotic. She pressed her clammy forehead to the metal beneath her, taking a moment to calm down from the near-death experience before forcing the helmet back over her head.

 

Tasia pulled up the map again once she could breathe easier, nearly collapsing with relief when she figured out that was the last time she would have to deal with a vertical shaft. She went to a nearby grate, peeking out and trying her best to orient herself. It looked like she was in some kind of storage area. The floor seemed somewhat dusty, the crates neatly stacked with Turian glyphs and manufacturer logos facing the little aisle she happened to be looking down. This wasn't used to store food from what she could see, and she doubted they would keep too many spare armor sets and weapons in their crates. Perhaps something for the Medical Bay or Engineering? The angle of the glyphs and lack of real lighting made it harder than it should be to read the crates accurately. She glanced at her map once more, zooming into the area she thought she was. There were a couple of rooms that could be used for general storage leading up to the Shuttle Bay. 

 

Tasia dismissed the map, about to resume her crawl when she heard something coming from the room she'd just been looking in. She slid back and hid behind a bend in the vents, head tilted to try and catch the words coming from the vent.

 

"-don't care what it takes, find her! I knew allowing the Spectre's leave us with her was a bad idea!"

 

Tasia slowly reached back for the stolen pistol, slowing her breaths even as her heart skipped. Well, they knew she was gone now. She was honestly surprised it had taken them this long to figure it out. They would be searching the vents for her soon enough, though very few would even be able to slip into them. At least, that's what Nihlus had told her. She hadn't seen anyone other than the two Spectres and medical personnel, so she just had to trust what he told her.

 

Tasia cautiously peeked around the corner, not seeing anyone trying to pry the vent off but still hearing the  _ torin _ ranting about locating her. Idiot. If it wasn't for him, she never would have known that they knew she was gone and therefore on a higher alert. They could have laid a trap for her, and it was entirely possible that she could have been caught. Then again, her hearing was augmented and most of the crew of this ship would not have known that. She allowed herself a slight smirk before she started crawling again, taking great care to make as little noise as she possibly could.

 

By the time she made it to the shuttle bay, she was exhausted and far more alert than she had been when she first made her escape. While no Turian had actually entered the vents with her, several had pried the covers they could reach loose to check for her. She was lucky that they weren't exactly easy to pry off and made plenty of noise to warn her ahead of time. Unfortunately, that very fact was going to be working against her now.

 

Tasia bit her lip, biotics once again flaring around her before directing it to the vent cover. She pried the vent's cover off, slipping out of the opening with her pistol drawn. She remained behind a convenient container, glancing at the glyphs to ensure she wasn't hiding behind anything explosive while replacing the cover. A slight amount of tension left her, the glyphs on the box labeling the contents as nothing more than spare parts to something called a Mako. Not the vehicle she would be using to get out of here, so unimportant. She could catch up on things once she was out of here.

 

With the vent's cover replaced, Tasia risked a peek over the container and quickly ducked back down. She could see several Turian's standing at a wide table, probably cleaning their rifles, and she felt like there would be more milling about. Either they were not up to date on her escape yet, which was unlikely, or they figured she would be caught before she could make it this far. There was plenty of cover around, but without knowing exactly where each Turian was, not to mention how many were in the Shuttle Bay, moving would be a risk. 

 

She leaned against the container, closing her eyes and forcing herself to listen. The Turians were relaxed, making jokes as they cleaned. She could barely hear others setting weapons into maglocks and drawing them, the whirl of rifles extending only to click and retract because something wasn't aligned right. More laughter and the sound of ceramic armor hitting armor, heavy sighs and the sound of the weapon being placed on the table to be disassembled again. Quiet grunting and the sound of metal clicking together and against ceramic, but also the sound of heavy plastic hitting plastic. Training equipment being put up and armor being donned perhaps? It would make sense, seeing as sparring was normal aboard a Turian ship.

 

All in all, she estimated about a dozen to be in the room, and the longer she was free, the more likely they would have others joining them. Best to hit them while their guard was still somewhat lowered then. She stayed crouched, pistol in her hands and ready for use as she edged around the container and behind a second one. Another quick peek allowed her to find a shuttle, as well as a general direction for the controls for the bay doors. She could only pray that the Turians wouldn't be spaced when the doors opened.

 

After a quick glance at the pistol, and spending a moment to get a feel for where the magazine release was, she was as prepared as she could be. Tasia kept low as she moved toward the controls, counting heads as she went. So far, her count was at 11 Turians. Three at the table cleaning and assembling weapons, two putting up sparring mats, another two suiting up with the final four guarding the shuttles. There could be more that she hadn't seen yet going through the containers searching for her, or even hidden by the shuttles themselves.

 

Her luck was about to run out though. There was no cover for the last few meters between her and the controls, and her back would be toward one of the doors leading into the cavernous space. There was no way around it now. She would have to fight her way to the controls, and again to the shuttles.

 

Tasia paused long enough to breathe a quiet prayer for forgiveness, tightening her grip on the pistol in her hands. Her first targets would have to be the ones nearest the shuttles themselves. They were further away from her, and thus the hardest to take out. Then the ones standing by the weapons tables, then those that were packing up the mats, with those still only partially armored for last. She could adjust as she needed to when the firefight really got going.

 

Lifting the pistol into a ready position, Tasia breathed and built the battlefield in her mind's eye. When she was ready, she spun from her cover, taking only a heartbeat to aim at the furthest target and firing. There was a shout, the sound of a bullet sparking against shields and then the madness began. Tasia didn't stay out of cover long, only firing two more shots before taking cover as the Turians began returning fire. She ignored the calls for her to toss her pistol aside and let herself be escorted back to the Medbay, responding by slipping from cover again and firing another handful of shots before ducking down.

 

A grim smile stretched across her lips as she listened to a Turian swear colorfully. She'd gotten him in his leading shoulder, but knew it wouldn't be a fatal shot. She wanted to have no fatalities if she possibly could, but it was unlikely. Then again, she did have a few tricks that she could use to her advantage.

 

Twisting out when there was another lull in return fire, Tasia emptied the remaining magazine at one unfortunate  _ tarin _ , catching her in the chest as Tasia moved toward the closer to the control console. She flicked the release and let the spent ammo fall, dropping behind a low barrier before grabbing another magazine and slamming it into place. She didn't have many, certainly not enough to take down all of the Turians, but she didn't need to use all of her ammo. This time, she spun out from cover with her body alight with biotics. She flicked a hand dismissively at a  _ torin _ stupid enough to be running toward cover while reloading. The biotic Throw tossed him into a high container as she leveled the pistol at a  _ tarin _ too close for comfort and fired at her chest twice before being forced to duck back into cover.

 

Tasia inched closer to the console, focusing on her biotics and only firing when she absolutely needed to. She flung another  _ torin _ into a wall, pulling a  _ tarin _ toward her right after to use as a shield so she could sprint for the console. She shot the unfortunate  _ tarin _ in the legs as she flew past, skidding into cover under the console as the  _ tarin _ met the wall and crumpled against it unmoving. Five injured, with at least two being down, leaving six unharmed. Granted, two were only partially suited up, but she hadn't been able to get at them yet. They were being careful not to be caught out of cover, which was admirable of them. They would be easy targets if they poked out long enough.

 

Tasia pressed her back to the console, glancing at the unmoving  _ tarin _ and wincing. "Half your squad is injured, at least two critically so, and others are not properly armored! I don't want to kill any of you, but I will if I must!"

 

"Not a chance softskin! You should know better than to ask a Turian squad to retreat!"

 

Tasia shook her head, sighing softly in regret. She hoped that she could finish this before anyone died from their injuries. "Then you leave me no choice! If you won't leave willingly, I will force you out and you can explain how your squad couldn't take out a single, female, softskin."

 

"Big words for a cowl-less  _ peutri _ !"

 

"What, are we devolving to schoolyard taunts now?" Tasia laughed, shifting her feet and making her biotics flare. "You can do better than that!" She twisted, keeping as much of her body as she could behind the console, as she tossed silver orb of dark matter at the largest mass of crates. The Singularity pulled Turian and cover alike, causing many to yelp as they collided with each other and their previous cover. She left them to hang in the Singularity, taking shots at one of the Turian's that was only partially armored, ducking back as her last shot caused a spray of blue from the  _ tarin's _ side. She released her control on the Singularity, sending everything caught in its gravity crashing to the ground. Judging by the pained howl, at least one Turian had been caught underneath one of the heavy crates.

 

Seven. A sound behind her made her spin, bullets catching on her shields before she formed a Barrier to block them. Another flick of her hand sent the  _ torin _ flying into, and over, the railing, the tintinnabulation of breaking glass telling her the  _ torin _ at least had a broken visor from a head-first landing or had fallen onto another console she hadn't seen. Maybe even both.

 

Eight. This time she allowed herself to come out of cover entirely, barrier blocking their fire as she twisted her wrist to create a Warp over the Turian closest to the shuttle. She forced herself to ignore his screams, keeping her barrier stable as she fired at another  _ torin _ desperately sprinting for their screaming comrade.

 

"That's enough!"

 

Tasia paused, not dropping her barrier, but letting the muzzle of her pistol drop. She watched as the second turian without armor slowly stood from behind the crate they'd taken cover behind, gun held loosely but eyes fixed on a body she couldn't see. "I'm listening."

 

The  _ torin _ finally looked at her, mandibles flicking in what she thought was worry. "You've made your point, softskin. My CO may have been willing to fight you to the death for betraying us, but I'm not. Let me get them out of here."

 

"Sergeant! You can't mean to-"

 

"I do, and you will stand down! She's played us in more than one way. By the time we get reinforcements, it will be too late." The  _ torin _ shook his head, pulling his mandibles tight to his face. "Think of me what you will Private, but I intend to get us out of this."

 

"Yes, sir."

 

Tasia inclined her head slightly, lifting the crates she'd caught in her Singularity earlier and stacking them to the side. She hissed when she saw the Turian that had been caught under the crates, blue pooling under a leg that was bent in a way she knew it wasn't supposed to bend. The armor was completely shattered, and the  _ torin _ that had yielded rushed to the downed Turian's side, hands quickly being coated in blue blood. Tasia didn't hesitate to grab one of the packs of Medigel, lobbing it toward the downed Turian and watching it skid across the floor and stop at their side. She looked away when the  _ torin's _ head snapped up from the sound, reaching out to carefully with her biotics and lifting unconscious and injured fighters as gently as she could and placing them by the door.

 

With that done, she started working on the console, pistol in her grip and her biotic flare licking at her armor in warning. Those still conscious and able to walk helped move the injured out of the Shuttle Bay, though the  _ torin _ that had called the ceasefire stopped by her for a moment. "Why? Why are you doing this? You could have killed us all, but you're letting us go. You weren't even trying to kill us."

 

Tasia paused, fingers hovering over the keys as she turned her head toward the  _ torin _ . "Leaving you alive was not meant as mercy, skullface, but an insult. Besides, killing you all without allowing myself to fully test my abilities was a waste of an opportunity. If you don't want your friend to die, then you best get moving."

 

The  _ torin _ growled, adjusting his grip on his comrade before his subvocals turned slightly more calculating. He started to move away after a moment, chuffing lowly. "Keep telling yourself that. Maybe one day, you'll be able to mean it."

 

"Just get out before I decide to shoot you." Tasia turned back to the console, stepping away when she heard the door behind her cycle closed. She didn't exactly have time to wait, knowing the Turians had likely already been alerted to her location. She sprinted for the shuttle, ignoring the ache in her chest as she passed puddles of congealing blood. Once inside, her fist slammed against the control for the airlock, and she made her way to the pilot's seat. After a moment's hesitation, she started prepping the shuttle to leave, ignoring the warning as she skipped over some commands just so she could get out faster. It was only due to the Spectres’ drilling that she knew which alerts to ignore and which to heed. Hell, she never would have been able to start the shuttle without them.

 

She flinched when the shuttle automatically synced with the main channel for the Turian vessel, quickly slapping the mute. As predicted, they were trying to lock her out of the system so she wouldn't be able to leave, not to mention orders for medical support for those she had injured and another squad racing to get into the Bay before she opened it to the vacuum. With a shake of her head, she finished the shuttle's precheck, sending the signal to the console she'd previously been handling to begin the cycle so she could leave.

 

Tasia cautiously moved her hands to the controls, swallowing her hesitation. She had no experience actually piloting a shuttle, her only knowledge coming from the Spectres and the facility she had been held in. Theoretical only. Supposedly it wasn't hard since much of it would be handled by a VI, but she still needed to be aware to make any sudden adjustments. Like if the Turian ship decided to bring her down, or send fighters after her.

 

"It'll be fine, they said. You won't have to worry much at all they said. I'm going to kill them." Tasia shook as she coaxed the shuttle off the Bay floor, carefully maneuvering the shuttle side to side. "It's just like driving a Skycar, only bigger. And in space. With people shooting at me. Dear sweet Jesus, if I die, I'm going to haunt those two for the rest of their lives."

 

Almost time. The ramp was starting to lower now, and she was high enough that she should be able to leave without taking any crates with her. Maybe. She swore when the ramp froze, not quite open enough for her to be able to get through, or so she thought. She flicked over to the command screen, trying to make it so the Turians wouldn't be able to close her in again. So long as the ramp was even partially open, they couldn't get to her. She wished she'd paid more attention to Vivi when the other girl had tried to teach her more about coding. She would have been able to keep the Turians at bay and force the ramp open if she had.

 

Tasia managed to win another couple of feet, but she was beginning to struggle to keep up. She chewed her lip in worry, eyeing the opening before growling. It was going to have to be enough. She would start losing ground soon, and she couldn't afford to let that happen. Too much was riding on this. She shoved the command screen away, once again taking the controls and moving for the opening. She screamed as the shuttle shot forward, but she made it through the opening. Barely. The ramp had scraped the bottom of the shuttle just before she'd cleared it entirely. There was some damage to the shuttle of course, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been. It was still able to fly at least.

 

Tasia laughed in relief, almost dizzy with adrenaline from both the fight and the close call with the ramp. It took her a while to be able to do more than sit and let the shuttle fly itself, but she managed to get ahold of herself after a minute or so. Once in control of herself, she flicked through screens to find a map of the system, first finding Neith, and then locating Sobek. She could swap shuttles and get more weapons and ammo from her previous base, and then head for Sobek's moon Heqet. From there, she would use the Eclipse to smuggle her out of the system, or that was the plan at least. Supposedly Cerberus had dealings with the mercenaries that allowed them to use Neith for their training facility.

 

Tasia spared a glance at the Turian ship, admiring it's sleek design for a few heartbeats as it began to turn to try and follow her. She ripped her gaze away, setting her armor to seal so she was prepared when she landed on Neith. Outside the dome that was buried under the planets salt flats, there was no oxygen. Even then, she would have to be careful. A firefight inside the dome could be catastrophic, not that she would object to the place being destroyed after she left.

 

A warning from the shuttle's screens drew her attention, the words making her lips stretch into a grim smile. Less than an hour and she'd reach Neith. She just needed to avoid the fire soon to be coming her way. She pushed the shuttle as much as she dared with the damage it had taken, ignoring the growing pain in her stomach. "Alright, you guys. Let's play a game of cat and mouse."

 

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The table went silent as an Omni-Tool chirped, the owner sitting back and tapping at the interface to answer the call. "Kryik."

 

"Spectre Kryik, the human has escaped. We have fighters in pursuit and are attempting to contain her."

 

Nihlus rumbled lowly, eyes narrowing at the Turian Captain. "And just how did you lose the girl? I would have thought a ship full of trained personnel would have been able to hold her while Spectre Rix and I checked on this lead."

 

The Captain chuffed, mandibles high on his face in displeasure and subvocals growling with impatience. "From what we have managed to put together, the human attacked Lieutenant Variso and took the emergency weapon from the Medical Bay. From there, we believe she used the vents to get to the Shuttle Bay where she attacked the squad stationed there to prevent her from accessing the shuttles. When most of the squad was disabled, the remaining members retreated with their wounded and she left using one of the shuttles. We had almost closed her in, but the  _ kresat frasacti _ chanced flying through the opening anyway. The shuttle sustained some damage, but not enough to disable it."

 

Nihlus rotated his mandibles, talons combing through his fringe while his subvocals growled in frustration. "You're telling me that a single human girl not only managed to evade capture upon a Hierarchy vessel but also managed to take down an entire squad on her own?"

 

The Captain shifted, hissing through a clenched jaw. "Yes. And she managed to do it without a single fatality, though some of the squad are in critical condition."

 

Nihlus slammed his free hand into the table, snarling viciously. " _ Licisi _ ! Capture the human alive Captain! If I find out someone got trigger happy and killed the girl, they will regret it. Spectre Rix and I will return as soon as we are able." Nihlus didn't wait for the Captain to respond before ending the call, breathing out a sigh of relief once he was certain the comm was disconnected. "She did it. I can't believe she did it."

 

A rumble of agreement met the statement, white armor pressing against black in support. "Without casualties too. She'll be pleased to know that when this is all over."

 

Nihlus offered Rix a weak smile but turned his attention to the silver  _ torin _ across from him. "Can we count on your help with this,  _ fahrtrix _ ?"

  
The silver  _ torin _ hummed thoughtfully, talons tapping an uneven pattern on the tabletop. “I am, at the very least, interested in meeting the human that has captured your attention. She seems… unusual for her species.” He trailed off, subvocals managing to insinuate interest but also an expectation of disappointment. Saren’s gaze turned from focusing on the far distance to meeting his eyes. After a wordless moment, he nodded, rising from the table and straightening his cloak. “I trust your judgment, but I hope for your sake that she truly is a fluke. Most humans are too short-sighted to ever be one of us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S LAAAATTTEEEE!!!!! I'm so sorry everyone! I got caught up in a couple of projects, lost another so have to start over completely... it's been a nightmare. I'll post the words that need translating later tomorrow, but May is going to be hit and miss on if I can update or not. I CAN TELL YOU I have more chapters pre-written though. Only 2, but they're there. I haven't had much time for writing with my cousins' wedding coming up and making her wedding gift and a couple of gifts for a friend. Just.. yeah. Sorry. I'll try to be on time, but if I don't post for May, just know I definitely will in June! R&R and enjoy everyone!!


	9. Arrival

Tasia hitched her duffle higher on her shoulder, offering the Asari standing at the airlock a slight nod. The Citadel was as busy as she'd always imagined, a slight smile tugging her lips as she slipped into the crowd. The Eclipse had given her a hard time when she first found them. They had been enraged that she'd dared come to them after fighting her way free of the Hierarchy soldiers that had tried to recapture her. She'd had to divert to Anhur, hiding among the people there for a couple of days until she managed to find the port’s local Eclipse chapter. From there, it had simply been a matter of paying them to get her here. Or really, anywhere in Citadel space would have been fine, but she had preferred the Citadel. Too many tourists to keep track of, despite being the home of the Council and Spectres. She could manage the slums here and find an information broker to get the word out that she was free and seeking orders.

 

Tasia ducked into an alley, away from the main thoroughfare of the docks. Her duffle was heavy with her weapons and armor while she was clad in dark jeans and a flannel shirt. The duffle itself held the hated logo of her armor, but it made her look more like someone enjoying shore leave or a vacation from work instead of someone that had recently run from the Turian Hierarchy. Medigel was the only reason she was able to walk without a limp, and breathe without a grimace. She hadn't come away unscathed, the soldiers had been too well trained for that.

 

Tasia shook her head, glancing at signs as she wound her way back into heavier foot traffic. She hoped that Nihlus and Rix had both been in contact with the other Spectres before the Hierarchy issued a BOLO or APB. She didn't know what the Turian equivalent would be, but she was sure the Spectres could intercept it. Unless someone on the ship had a buddy or sibling on the station they would alert directly, but could they do that if it was a Spectre operation? Damnit, she should have asked all this before the two had left for their meeting!

 

Tasia yelped in pain, stumbling back and rubbing her shoulder. What had she run into, a wall? The sound it had made was something she'd expect from armor, but the way she rebounded made her think she'd hit a wall instead. "Fuck that hurt. Sorry about that!"

 

"You should watch where you're going, this isn't the best part of the ward." A taloned hand cupped the back of her arm, subvocals rolling with concern and amusement as they helped keep her steady as she shook herself to awareness. "You alright? You're not lost are you?"

 

Tasia smiled gratefully at the coral marked  _ torin _ , a quick glance at black and blue armor telling her she shouldn't have to fear for her credit chits or few possessions. "Sorry. I was lost in thought. First time at the station and can't help comparing it to home, you know?" Tasia chuckled, fighting not to shift her duffle too much even as she offered the  _ torin _ an arm to clasp. "I'm fine, just wasn't expecting to hit armor. I appreciate you making sure I'm alright Officer."

 

The  _ torin _ hummed, mandibles flicking curiously as he moved his hand to clasp her arm for a heartbeat before letting it drop to his side. "It's not a problem ma'am. Welcome to Citadel's Bachjret Ward." His eyes darted to her duffle, then back to her, head dipping slightly in a nod and subvocals humming with suspicion. "I'm Officer Lunaris with Citadel Security. What brings you to the Citadel?"

 

Tasia's smile grew strained, unable to keep from adjusting the strap of her duffle on her shoulder. "Waiting to hear from my superiors. I just need to get into contact with them so they can tell me where to go, but I hope to hear soon."

 

Lunaris nodded slowly, mandibles fluttering against his jaw in thought. "Reassignment or something different? You may be in the wrong Ward if you're waiting for orders. Bachjret Ward is primarily civilian-based. Most soldiers head to Zakera Ward while on shore leave. There are more options for weapons, weapon modifications, and armor to upgrade your loadout before shipping back to wherever you're sent."

 

Tasia flinched slightly, dropping her eyes and fingers tightening on the strap of her duffle. "Something like that. The transport I came in on didn't explain the ward systems, and I just wanted to get away for a while before checking in."

 

Lunaris straightened in realization, an understanding thrum escaping his keel. "I see." He glanced at the storefronts, regaining his bearings before nodding to himself. "Go down three streets, and make a left. There's a Rapid Transit terminal there. Take it to the Presidium, and follow the signs to Zakera. It will give you some peace and quiet to think, but also allow you to see more of the station." He hesitated, but eventually sighed and nodded toward her duffle. "Weapons stay in the bag, and you shouldn't have a problem with other Officers. Stay in the upper Ward if you can, to avoid confrontations."

 

Tasia smiled sadly, but nodded, grateful for the advice. While she didn't think she could handle the quiet at the moment, being able to see the Ward from above did sound pleasing. "Thank you, Officer Lunaris. I appreciate your advice." She took a step back, intending to leave but stopped. A question was burning on her tongue, demanding to be asked despite the fact that this was a complete stranger. "Does it ever get easier?"

 

Lunaris paused, clicking in thought before shaking his head. "No, it really doesn't. The best you can hope for is finding something to hold on to. Something to fight for. Once you find that, well, you'll see. Stay safe out there."

 

"Can't make any promises, but I'll try." Tasia smiled and raised her hand, turning away from the Officer to make her way toward the Rapid Transit terminal. When she got there she was notified that there would be a ten-minute wait for a skycar, but that was fine. She didn't have anything better to do anyway. She moved to a nearby planter, sitting on its edge and settled her duffle beneath her feet before turning her gaze to the rush of skycars above. Everything was so busy, always moving with the constant rumble of conversation just around the corner. Was the station always like this? She hoped it wasn't, if only because she didn't want to have to deal with constant activity. Not to mention trying to sleep would be a nightmare with all the noise.

 

Tasia stood and grabbed her duffle when her Omni-Tool chirped at her, watching the skycar that was slowing by the terminal she'd used before. She settled the duffle in the back seat, slipping into the front once it was secured. She confirmed the Presidium as her destination and leaned against the window as the vehicle began to hover and merge into traffic. She had to admit that the Officer had been right. Watching the Ward flash by was beautiful, and it gave her plenty of time to think. While she knew he'd meant for her to think about what he probably thought was her fallen squad, she forced herself to focus on her mission. 

 

Tasia knew the first thing she would have to do is get a message out to the Spectres that she'd been able to escape cleanly and was attempting contact through a broker. The second was actually locating a broker that she could pay to get intel from, as well as send out a subtle call for help from Cerberus. She absently drummed a beat on her thigh, humming lowly in frustration. She might need to consider getting some kind of job so she would have some credits to feed and house herself while she was on station. She had a good couple of weeks worth of rations in her duffle if she could manage to conserve them wisely. The  _ torini _ had seemed like they had a plan, but it would still be a good idea to have extra credits on hand. Especially since she had no idea how expensive the information would be from the broker.

 

She rubbed her forehead with a sigh, shifting in her seat when her body began to protest the position she'd been in. She had a plan of action, kinda, so she should be able to do this. The  _ torini _ had helped prepare her as best they could, now she needed to follow through. She hoped they hadn't made a mistake, allowing her the opportunity to do this. If the Spectres hadn't been able to find information with their networks though, did she really have a chance? Was there something that she could say in the message to alert the other Projects that she was free, without them deciding to just eliminate a loose thread? The scientists had said that other Projects had wanted her, so perhaps she could use that somehow? But how?

 

Tasia pursed her lips, previously drumming fingers digging into the meat of her thigh as she stared unseeing out her window. One thing at a time. Trying to think too many steps ahead would only end up confusing her in the long run. Alright, get in contact with the Spectres and money would be the first issue she would have to take care of. Worry about food only if she had to. She wouldn't starve, but it wasn't going to be comfortable either. She'd known they were forgetting something.

 

She groaned and scrubbed her hands over her face, head aching from her attempts at planning. Alright, maybe today she could relax a little? She'd find a place to stay later, but for at least a little while, she would like to enjoy being able to sit and relax. As much as she wanted to go and do things right this second and get off the station sooner rather than later, she would only burn herself out doing so. If she found herself a little nook that she would be free to eat in, she would stop. If she didn't, then she could eat as she located a cheap place to stay.

 

With that plan in mind, Tasia focused again on the scenery passing under her. While the Ward had been beautiful, it was somewhat dark. Wherever she was now was brighter and neater. It was a trend that continued the closer she got to the center of the Citadel. Still, it was a breathtaking sight. Her fingertips pressed against the window, watching other skycars and buildings zipping past. She could only barely see the people below, they were so tiny. She wished the others were here to enjoy it with her.

 

Just like that, her burgeoning good mood was quelled and replaced by a more somber one. Pictures of things just didn't do them justice sometimes. This was one of them. Nothing could have prepared them for the magnitude of this place, let alone the diversity of its people. She'd only been on the station a handful of minutes and run into someone. The entire station had a metropolitan feel, and considering most of them had been from small towns or colonies, could anyone have blamed them for being awestruck?

 

But it wasn't all of them. It was only her. Her heart ached for the company of her friends she'd only recently lost, wishing she could hear their squeals and gasps of excitement. Max and Lamir would have whistled, no doubt wanting to hunt down the nearest Engineer and talk to them about the specs of certain things. Vivi would have squealed and immediately started demanding to see the sights only to promptly get lost. Korra would have been the one looking to see what she could find in the coding of the terminals. Gomez would have stayed back and corralled them as best he could.

 

"I miss you guys. You would have loved this, you know? God, we would have had to take separate skycars too, to get anywhere outside the docks." Tasia chuckled softly, breath fogging the window. "We would have gotten lost in less than an hour, no doubt about it. We'd have to hound a C-Sec Officer constantly. Pretty sure they would have ended up calling us in so they could keep an eye on us if they do that kind of thing. They really need to have tour guides."

 

She pressed her temple to the window, mind drifting as she watched everything flicker by. She wanted them to be here with her desperately. Hopefully, when this was over, she would at least be able to work through her grief. As much as she hated to admit it, the others were only serving as a distraction. A distraction she couldn't afford, but she also couldn't help. She was alone now, so she wouldn't have the luxury of another person keeping her mind occupied. She'd already dealt with her mind slipping while being smuggled to the station. Turning to make a comment to Max, checking to make sure Vivi hadn't wandered off somewhere. She couldn't help but think it was only going to get worse.

 

She startled when the skycar began to dive, blinking at the rapidly approaching stonework. A quick glance at her Omni-Tool showed her that a half an hour had passed, even though it didn't feel like it. She shook her head, straightening in her seat as the skycar leveled out and landed. She waited for a moment, wanting to make sure it didn’t need to make any minor adjustments before opening her door. She stepped out and winced from the brightness, shading her eyes to allow them to adjust better as she went to the other seat to get her duffle. She carefully pulled it back over her shoulder and shut the doors, squinting somewhat still, but mostly adjusted.

 

Other than the overwhelming white structures and walkways, the place was beautiful. She spun slowly, breath hitching in awe as she took her first look at the Presidium. While white buildings dominated the space, her eye was drawn to the paths cut into what looked to be little parks with real trees and actual rocks. Beyond the parks, she could just make out fresh water arcing through the air. There were fewer people here, but they all were well dressed and soft-spoken. They walked leisurely and disappeared into the parks, or sat on benches. Others leaned on railings and just watched everyone around them.

 

And then there was the Tower. The seat of power for all of Citadel space. It loomed above, but the artificial sunlight made it so it cast little to no shadow. It was beautiful. It was terrifying. The Council met in that Tower. Made decisions that affected trillions of lives every day. Commanded their own private army from within those walls.

 

Tasia shook herself, slowly moving away from the skycar and toward one of the bridges. She could see a sign from here, she just couldn't read what it said. She hoped that it would tell her how to get to Zakera Ward from the Bachjret side of the Presidium.

 

Unfortunately, it only told her where the Fashion District was located, which had made her twist to tease Vivi before remembering the other girl wasn't there. She flinched and sighed, following the sign's directions for the lack of a better lead. A quick glance over the side of the bridge and she was nearly grinning at the sight of water. It had been so long since she'd been in an area like this, she wanted nothing more than to find a spot to tuck her things away and go for a swim. Though, judging by the lack of low access to the water, that would be frowned upon. She couldn't afford to draw attention to herself just yet. Maybe there was somewhere on the ward she could find that had a pool? It was good exercise after all.

 

When she crossed the bridge, she wandered closer to a busy nook at the base of a building. Judging by the items laid out on tables with others looking over them, she thought it was safe to say that this was the financial area. Oddly, there seemed to be a purple projection of an Asari on the lakes side of the area. Curious, she made her way closer to the hologram, jumping when it suddenly addressed her.

 

"Welcome to Presidium Tourism Terminal three. There are many points of interest here, including the Fashion District, and the Council Foundation Memorial. On the far end of this level, you can see the Citadel Tower, where the Council meets regularly to discuss matters of interstellar importance."

 

"Jesus, give me a heart attack." Tasia rubbed at her chest, glaring at the projection before sighing. "Ok then, so you do have tour guides. That would have been nice to know when I first got here. Tourism Terminal thingy, how do I get to the Zakera Ward from here?"

 

"There are several ways to gain access to Zakera Ward from this location. The fastest is by proceeding further down this level to the Citadel Tower and leaving via the Zakera Ward exit. If you wish to take your time, there are paths in the nearby parks to the East that will lead you to Zakera Ward. Finally, you could use the special Rapid Transit terminals located in the center of each Wards park to travel to another Wards park. Please note that the number of skycars connected to these special terminals is limited, and often have long wait times."

 

"Well, that answers that I guess. Thank you, Tourism Terminal three."

 

"Goodbye, and thank you for using Avina. Please enjoy your visit to the Citadel."

 

Tasia stepped away from the terminal, eyeing the flickering purple figure warily. That thing freaked her out, but it was helpful. Still, she wished it had told her it was called Avina instead of calling itself Tourism Terminal three. "I may have to make a note of the name issue if an opportunity to give feedback ever comes up. That was just weird."

 

She shook her head and turned away, eyes catching on the Tower. It would be the fastest way to get there, but also the most dangerous. If she was recognized, it could cause problems. She didn't know if Rix or Nihlus were actually back and on the station already, but it was a risk she would have to take. She would blend better in the crowds of Zakera Ward if it was truly where most military spent their time.

 

With that decided, Tasia adjusted her duffle's strap again, angling the bulky item so her arm could rest against the emblem stitched onto the fabric. She couldn't block it entirely, but it would be enough. She just needed to keep her head down and go straight for Zakera. Since Avina had mentioned traveling through the parks toward the East, she had a general direction to wander in the Tower.

 

Tasia made for the Tower, pausing briefly at a statue of a Salarian and Asari dressed in what looked to be formal wear. Avina had mentioned something about a memorial for the Council's founding, so she guessed this was it. It was suitably imposing but beautifully crafted. She supposed that the two depicted were as accurate as they could be, given that the Asari lived for a thousand years. Surely back then they had been able to take pictures to commemorate the occasion? That, or perhaps it was passed on through the Asari melding together until they were able to create this? She made another mental note to ask about it later and continued to the Tower.

 

This place had to have seen so much history. Moments that changed the future of the galaxy in a way she couldn't comprehend living in this time. While the Salarians most likely rarely saw the effect their decisions made, the Asari would. They would live through the decision and then see the outcome of it. See how it shaped and changed everything around them. It was another thing that was difficult to fathom. The weight of it must be incredible.

 

When she reached the elevator that would take her into the Tower she hesitated. She obviously didn't belong in this area, by her dress and manner alone, but it was the quickest way to get where she needed to go. She had to do this. She entered the elevator with a whispered prayer, tapping on the activation console. The glass door slid shut as she turned towards it, and the elevator began its leisurely ascent. She watched the parks and lake grow smaller, tapping her heel against the floor in irritation. As beautiful as the scenery was, she wanted to be out of this place as quickly as possible. Being so close to the governing power of the galaxy was unnerving.

 

Tasia sighed in relief as the elevator stopped, moving into the atrium the moment she could. The area was quiet, only faint murmurs of others reaching her ears. Her steps echoed around her, and she couldn't help but look at the carefully crafted area. Again, it looked like she was in some kind of park. There were little area's separate from the rest with benches, likely meant for private conversations and political dealings. Definitely bugged though. Tasia made sure to stay as quiet as she could as she moved through the atrium, pointedly avoiding eye contact with the politicians and aides she came across.

 

"Excuse me miss, but you can't be here."

 

Tasia groaned, turning to see who had addressed her. Of course, it had to be an Asari. "My apologies, but Avina told me this was the best way to get to Zakera Ward. I was accidentally dropped off in Bachjret instead."

 

"Then you should have made your way through the parks. The Presidium Tower is not a place that one uses simply for travel." The white marked Asari shook their head, tone and posture condescending. "I'm afraid that you will have to leave and go through the parks."

 

"Look, I'm sorry but I can't do that. I need to get to Zakera as quickly as possible so that I can make contact with my Superiors." Tasia rubbed her forehead, biting the inside of her cheek to keep from snapping at the Asari.

 

"Then you should have ensured you were left on the correct Ward. Now, please-"

 

"Is there a problem, V'lare?"

 

The white marked Asari turned, bowing to the Asari approaching. "Councilor Tevos! My apologies, I was just asking this human to leave the Tower. Please, do not concern yourself with her."

 

Tasia swallowed a curse, biting the inside of her cheek to keep silent. She saluted the Councilor, eyes focusing on the marks on their face. "Councilor Tevos, a pleasure to meet you. I apologize for causing a disturbance that drew your attention."

 

The Councilor chuckled, waving their hand with a small smile. "The Council broke for lunch, so it is not a disruption. May I ask what the problem is?"

 

Tasia opened her mouth to reply, but the other Asari cut her off. "It's nothing you need concern yourself over, Councilor. She was just leaving."

 

Tasia frowned, narrowing her eyes at V'lare. "And as I stated to you, I was dropped off on the wrong Ward on accident. A C-Sec Officer was kind enough to give me directions to a Rapid Transit terminal so that I could come here instead of having to charter another ship just to jump Wards. I need to contact my Superiors as quickly as I can."

 

The Councilor made a gesture toward V'lare, silencing them before focusing on Tasia. "And cutting through the Tower is the fastest way to get to the Ward you need. I understand now. I apologize for my aide's preventing you from reporting in. Am I correct in assuming that you need the Zakera Ward?"

 

Tasia nodded slowly, biting back the question on her tongue. "Yes, Councilor."

 

"I see." The Councilor smiled, regally gesturing to a door partially hidden in a cove off to the side. "Take that door there, and then take the third door on your right in the next hall. You should see trees with pink foliage when you exit, but if they are blue, you have gone one door too far. From there, take the stairs down to the elevator. That will open to Zakera's section of the Presidium. I hope that you enjoy your stay here, and I apologize again for my aide's behavior."

 

"T-Thank you Councilor. I appreciate the directions and your understanding. The behavior of your Aide is not something to concern yourself over. She only sought to ensure the peace here, I'm certain." Tasia chuckled lowly, gesturing to herself. "I don't exactly fit in amongst those that are worthy of the Council's attention."

 

Tevos covered their mouth with their hand, eyes sparkling with amusement. "On the contrary, I believe that you would fit in just fine. It is people like yourself that those who entreat the Council on their species' behalf seek to protect. And it is due to your sacrifice that those unable to serve in your species' military thrive. Go with my thanks for the service you provide for your people."

 

Tasia stared at the Councilor, unable to comprehend what they said. Was she just thanked for serving in the Alliance? By an Asari? Why? No, don't think about that right now, just go. Get out of here before you're questioned further Tasia. She snapped off another salute, suddenly wanting nothing more than to run away from the eyes that saw too much. "Thank you, Councilor. I hope that your day goes well."

 

Tasia barely waited for the Councilor to gesture to the door again, fleeing for the safety of the hidden hall. Dear god, she'd been in contact with one of the Councilors. This could be very bad. "Shit..." Tasia grit her teeth, walking at a brisk pace through the hallway she'd been directed to. The hallway was long and curved, and dimly lit. She could tell that there were columns on either side of the hall, and it took her a bit to reach the first door. She would have passed the door entirely if it wasn't for the green panel lighting the little depression that hid the door. She just had to pass one more, and the following one would take her to Zakera.

 

Tasia shuddered, almost jogging down the hall to find the third door despite the painful reprimand from her thigh. This hallway made her feel like she was being watched or followed, which would be easy to do in the dim lighting. All the more reason to get out of here as quickly as she could. When she reached the appropriate door, she tapped the panel, relaxing slightly as it slid aside to show another open atrium. She walked out of the hidden corner, glancing around until she saw the pink trees.

 

She sighed with relief, leaving the hidden corner and making for the stairs. She trotted down the steps, glancing curiously at the blue being standing by the elevator. They stepped into it and turned, blinking in surprise before blocking the door from closing. "Going to Zakera?"

 

That was odd. He sounded turian almost, his voice having a growling undertone as she made her way to the elevator. His species' name escaped her at the moment, but she dismissed the need to know and smiled gratefully at him. "Yes actually. Thanks for holding the elevator for me."

 

The blue male inclined his head as she stepped into the compartment, letting his hand fall to allow the door to close. "It is no trouble. I did not wish to cause you to wait for the next. They are terribly slow."

 

Tasia laughed, eyeing the scenery crawling by as the elevator began to move. "So it's not just me that thinks that. I wonder how long of a wait it is for one of these things?"

 

"Approximately twelve minutes if there are occupants riding it. If it is being summoned from either the portion of the Tower without occupants, the wait time is two minutes." The male chuckled, carefully smoothing his navy coat and straightening. "I believe this is due to some species being unable to handle faster speeds. Perhaps one day they will install a VI that will scan the occupants to see what speed is appropriate for them?"

 

Tasia snorted, a wry grin stretching her lips at the thought. "Ah, but that would take time away from things that need to be seen to. Plus, a longer ride to some would be a blessing. Last minute reading of notes or composing themselves I guess."

 

"Indeed." He clasped his hands behind his back, lips curved somewhat into a smile. "Perhaps it is these moments of respite that allow those petitioning the Council to practice reciting their words?"

 

"Wouldn't surprise me at all. Just walking through the Tower was taxing for me. I can't imagine what constantly doing business here would be like."

 

"Premature aging is what I have noticed in my visits here. Even working in the Embassies itself is a trial. More than once, I have seen an aide hiding in a corner pulling themselves together." He hummed as the Elevator came to a stop, gesturing for Tasia to precede him. "It has been a pleasure speaking with you. I pray that you enjoy your stay here."

 

"Thank you. It was nice to talk to you too." Tasia raised a hand in a wave, stepping free of the elevator and heading toward the park. Now that she was free of the Tower, she was beginning to feel the drain of being in the Tower and drawing the attention of one of the Councilors. She needed to sit and compose herself for a moment before moving on. She could eat something at the park and then figure out her next step.

 

She nearly collapsed onto a somewhat secluded bench, slipping her duffle from her shoulder and setting it at her feet. She groaned, scrubbing her hands over her face before leaning over to dig out a ration bar from her duffle. Leaning back, she peeled the wrapper open and nibbled at the wafer, grimacing at the taste. The thing might as well have been slightly flavored cardboard with how stale it was. Still, it was what she had to eat and it had enough nutrients in it to replace a meal. It would do for now.

 

She didn't know how long she sat there, but it had to have been for a good while. She heard voices coming up behind her and she stiffened, clenching the now empty wrapper in her fist. One voice was a low rasp that seemed familiar, the other more feminine and almost teasing. They didn't get any closer, but they didn't move on either. Probably a couple looking to enjoy a break together. Their voices tapered off, only occasionally making a quiet comment to the other. It reminded her of the off hours she'd spent just sitting with Max and talking to him about everything and nothing. She had to leave. She didn't want to disrupt their moment together.

 

Tasia gathered her duffle, ensuring it was closed before slinging it over her shoulder. She crushed the wrapper and stuffed it into a pocket of her jeans, to dispose of when she found a public garbage bin. She turned to head back the way she'd come in, nearly tripping when she saw the blue male from before. He glanced at her, offering her a nod before focusing on the red-haired woman leaning against his side reading a datapad. The woman didn't look up, and Tasia had no intention of breaking their moment together.

 

Tasia waved at the male as she walked past, wincing slightly as her Omni-Tool pinged at her as she went by. Silently cursing, and feeling the heat rising on her cheeks, she walked away from the couple as quickly as she could. She stopped under a tree nearby to see who was trying to contact her but frowned when she saw that the sender was blocked. After a moment's hesitation, she opened the note anyway. It could have been something the Spectre's had sent after all. She read over the message, and then read it again. And then a third time. This had to be a joke, but it had Nihlus written all over it. "You have got to be fucking kidding me."

 

_ FROM: [ERROR! SENDER BLOCKED] _

_ TO: 916068//UserID:semanticfanatic _

 

_ Go to the Medical Clinic in Zakera's upper wards, and then walk past it. Under the railing will be further instructions. May the odds ever be in your favor. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't kill me! I was going to post last week but didn't know they'd moved a convention that I was minioning was moved to last weekend. It's normally held in September, so I was really unprepared. I was also unable to get any chapters written, so only have 1 spare chapter after this I'm going to really try and buckle down to get more written to keep this train going. As always, please R&R to let e know what you think!

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, another one. A friend of mine, reclusiveformerwarlord on Tumblr, gave me their Mass Effect Trilogy last September or November and then listened to me screaming at all hours as I played. And they laughed at me often. And ordered me to post this before I went to bed tonight lol. There was much abuse of caps, and much cussing when deaths happened. Much of which my girlfriend also dealt with (Sorry love!). S.J. Garret, stacygarret on twitch, and her amazing discord friends helped me edit this and figure out flow, and Enum81, also a twitch streamer, kept my civilian self on point on the military side of it all. I have chapters backed up on this and I'm hoping once it slows down, I'll be able to focus again on Seeking Truth and Power Reborn. I have no idea when I'll be posting chapter 2, but it's written and ready to go when I'm ready to post. Yes, the dextro thing is flubbed for the sake of the fic. And because we actually have dextro amino based things irl. This is just a reason as to why Bioware has it the way they do. ALSO! A note about Cerberus. In ME1, they were said to be a military branch that went rogue, which eventually was turned into a thing that the Alliance never admit to being part of. I'm taking that little slip and running with it. Very far.
> 
> As always, PLEASE read and review and let me know what you think! All comments are loved and appreciated.


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